


A New Adventure

by ppperaltiagooo



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Babies, Baby Fic, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Family Fluff, First Time Parents, Fluff, Future Fic, Implied Sexual Content, Kid Fic, Married Couple, Married Life, Parenthood, Parents, Peraltiago, Peraltiago Parents, Pregnancy, peraltiago baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-10-03 23:42:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 34,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20461460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ppperaltiagooo/pseuds/ppperaltiagooo
Summary: On Amy and Jake's third wedding anniversary, they decide it's time to start trying for a baby. However, neither of them expected a family to become reality for them quite so quickly. Will Jake and Amy be able to successfully navigate parenthood, even with all the stress life is constantly throwing at them?





	1. The Anniversary Dinner

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! This is the first fic I've ever attempted to write on AO3, so I'm really sorry if I mess up on some things at first. I have always used Wattpad when writing fics before but I have now decided to jump across to this site. Anyway, I love Peraltiago and I cannot WAIT for them to have a baby in the show (fingers crossed they do) so I decided to write a future fic based on them starting a family. This is set after season 6, but I wouldn't say I'm writing my version of season 7 as this whole fic will basically just be about Peraltiago and Amy's pregnancy. But anyways, I really hope you enjoy! Thanks for reading :3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy the chapter and thank you so much for taking the time to read it!! <3

How could it have been three years already? How could it have been three years since Amy had gotten married to the love of her life in front of all of their dearest friends and colleagues? How could it have been three years since Amy Santiago had been allowed the privilege of marrying Jake Peralta, a man who she was sure must be her soul mate?

Amy stared down at the photo in her hands, a small smile gracing her lips. She ran a perfectly-manicured thumb over the picture, clutching onto the beautiful photo frame they had received as a wedding gift. Her eyes traced over her own image first, remembering the way Gina's dress had fit her so perfectly and the way Rosa's shoes had been two-sizes-too-big for her tiny feet. Quickly though, her eyes travelled from the left side of the photo to the right, so she could gaze at Jake. She marvelled at how handsome her husband looked as a groom, in his well-tailored suit, his hair all tousled after the wild ride their wedding day had turned out to be.

How could it have been three years already?

Jake stood in the doorway of the kitchen, leaning against the frame and grinning widely as he stared at his wife from behind where she stood in the living room. His eyes followed her cascading, chocolatey curls, his heart filling with love for her the way it did every single time he saw her. Jake reached up to straighten his tie before sauntering towards Amy and wrapping his arms around her petite waist. Jake would be the first to admit that he wasn't the tallest fellow in the world, but one of the things he loved about Amy was that she was so short that he could rest his chin on her head without having to stand on his tiptoes.

"What you lookin' at?" Jake whispered into Amy's ear, peeking over her shoulder.

Amy waggled the photo frame rather than putting her reply into words. She took a deep breath before breathing it out in the form of a relaxed sigh. Amy closed her eyes and melted backwards into her husbands body. "I can't believe it's been three years," Amy said quietly, smiling once again.

"Me either," Jake replied, placing a chaste kiss on Amy's full cheek. "I literally don't think I'll ever get over the fact that you married me."

Amy giggled and turned round to face Jake, hanging her arms loosely around his neck. "I love you," she simply said. Amy leaned in and pressed a long kiss onto Jake's plump lips, savouring the way he felt against her. 

"I love you... so much," Jake grinned, kissing Amy once again, his hands gripping her hips slightly tighter than before. He felt her lean into him, becoming putty in his hands, just as she always did. Jake looked down at his wife, taking in her glowing, tanned skin and the way her red lipstick was now just ever-so-slightly smudged. When Amy bit her lip mischievously it took everything inside of Jake not to ravish her right there and then. Oh, he so wanted to. But he wanted tonight to be special.

The couple didn't get to have date nights very often. Usually this was because they were so rarely given the same days off of work. And when they were granted a rota that allowed for time off together all Jake and Amy wanted to do was lie in bed and catch up on all the TV shows they'd missed due to their hectic work schedules. That's why tonight was so important for Jake. He wanted to make Amy feel special. Not that he didn't always want Amy to feel like a princess, but tonight rather than ordering her favourite takeout and massaging her feet he wanted to take her out somewhere nice and give her an expensive gift. He wanted her to know how much she was worth to him.

Jake reached up and wiped the smudged lipstick from Amy's face with his finger. "I'm just going to go and finish getting ready," he told her, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Okay." Amy nodded, waiting for Jake to leave the room before knitting her eyebrows together nervously and turning to face the wall once again. She reached down and laid a hand on her flat stomach. Too flat. 

Amy was getting nervous. She was almost forty and she and Jake had only had the baby talk once. And although she respected that Jake wanted to take his time, she knew her biological clock was ticking. Amy had always planned for kids, even amongst all the craziness of wanting to become Captain one day. She couldn't bear the thought of growing old and never having had a baby. And on top of that, she knew Jake would be an amazing father, no matter his fears surrounding the idea. She longed for them to start a family of their own, and sooner rather than later.

It wasn't that Jake wasn't enough for Amy... or maybe he wasn't. She didn't even know anymore. She felt guilty for feeling this way. For feeling like this amazing, perfect life of hers was not quite complete. Jake made her so happy all on his own, but was it so wrong of her to long for more?

Jake darted back into the room with a smile on his face. "I'm all ready now," he said, turning to quickly glance at himself in their hallway mirror.

Amy rolled her eyes and giggled. "How come you always take longer to get ready than I do?" She laughed.

"Hey!" Jake defended, wiggling his eyebrows. "It takes time to look this good." Amy laughed again and smoothed out her dress as Jake unlocked and opened their door. He held the door open, imitating an English accent as he said, "After you, m'lady."

"Why thank you, kind sir," Amy drawled, stepping out of the apartment and kissing Jake's cheek as she went.

======

Jake had picked Amy's number one "I-love-the-food-here-but-we-can't-afford-it" restaurant to book a table at, which had made Amy incredibly happy. He had known it would be expensive but nothing could prepare him for when he read the menu and realised a bottle of champagne was going to set him back $50. But he ordered it anyway, because tonight was all about Amy and champagne was one of her favourites.

Amy bit her lip nervously as she picked up her knife and fork and began to cut into her $35 steak. "Are you sure we can afford this, Jake?" 

"Ames, don't worry about it, okay?" Jake replied, waiting for the worried look to vanish from Amy's face. When it didn't, he softened his gaze and quietly said, "Please? I want to make you feel special tonight."

Amy felt a smile tugging at her lips. "Jake, you make me feel special every single day. You know that right?"

"I try super hard to," Jake said weakly, smiling back at her. "But we're so busy with work and everything. I don't want you to feel like I don't appreciate you. Because I do. Big times."

Amy giggled and picked up her glass of champagne. She stared at it for a moment before taking a drink, not wanting Jake to notice how uneasy she was feeling. If all went to plan tonight, this might be the last time she had a drink of alcohol for quite some time. 

After dinner, the couple exchanged gifts. Amy had bought Jake a little Nakatomi Tower key chain for his car keys and a bottle of expensive cologne. Jake had bought Amy a beautiful locket with a picture of them together inside of it, which made her tear up a little. 

"Thank you," Amy whispered, grabbing Jake's hand from across the table. "I love it."

Jake shrugged and then beamed over at Amy. "Anything for my girl."

======

The whole cab ride home, Amy was basically on the edge of her seat. She knew if she waited too much longer to ask then she'd chicken out, and she really didn't want to do that. They had to talk about this. She had to know whether Jake was ready yet, and if he wasn't, when he would be. 

When the cab driver finally pulled up outside Jake and Amy's shared flat, Amy basically jumped out of her seat, leaving Jake behind to pay their fare. She fiddled nervously with the hem of her dress on the elevator ride upwards, glancing across at her husband anxiously when he wasn't looking. Amy had bit the insides of her cheeks to a shred over this. Part of her wanted the elevator ride to last forever, but the other half of her just wanted to get this over and done with.

As soon as they got inside the apartment, Jake snaked his arms round Amy's waist from behind and began to trail delicate kisses down the side of her neck. Her neck was one of his favourite parts of her body, and he loved the little sighs she couldn't resist making when he touched her there.

Amy sunk back into her husband, her mind turning to jelly. Her eyes fluttered closed as she enjoyed the feeling of his lips on her neck. Amy turned around and looked up at Jake, seeing his eyes cloud with desire. She ran her hand along his cheek gently.

Jake loved when Amy looked this way, her big eyes gazing up at him, as if begging for something. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. Kissed her with every ounce of passion he could muster, walking her backwards slowly into their bedroom until they were standing right by their bed.

Amy's stomach fluttered nervously as she pulled herself away from Jake. She couldn't lose control now. No, not now. Not when she had something so important to say. Jake looked at her questioningly as her eyes darted around the room.

"Ames, is everything okay?" He asked. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Jake," she said quietly, her voice wobbling. Then she took a deep breath in, closed her eyes and spoke. "I want to have a baby."

Jake's hands fell from Amy's hips to his sides, his mouth falling open. If he had expected Amy to ask him anything tonight, it wouldn't have been that. His mind raced one hundred miles an hour. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought about having a kid with Amy lately, but honestly, he still wasn't sure he was ready. Every time he'd imagine having a baby of his own, his thoughts travelled back to his own childhood. And what if he'd be a bad father too, like his own? And what if he'd leave Amy? And what if he'd leave their baby?

Feeling her eyes fill with tears at her husband's lack of response, Amy sighed and flopped down onto the side of their bed. "I'm sorry," she whispered, looking down at her lap and watching a tear fall onto it. She should've never asked. She should've never ruined their evening. 

Jake swallowed thickly and sat down next to her. He opened his mouth to talk but nothing came out. And then, slowly, he reached out and took Amy's hand in his own, causing her to hide her face further from him. Using his free hand, he reached forward and pushed her chin up so he could make eye contact with her. 

"It's okay," Amy said quietly, tears streaming down her reddened cheeks. "I understand. I shouldn't have-"

"No, Amy," Jake said, shaking his head. "Please don't say that. Please don't ever feel like you can't talk to me about something." Jake wiped Amy's tears away with his thumb, his own eyes filling up. He hated upsetting her. He hated making her feel sad. Seeing her cry caused him physical pain, somewhere deep inside his heart.

Amy focused her eyes on the wall behind them. "I just..." She trailed off. "I just... I feel like we're ready. Well, no, we probably aren't. We live in a one bedroom apartment, we're still nowhere near happy with where we are in our careers, we make crappy money. But... is anyone ever ready, you know? I just..." Amy fell silent again, drawing in a deep breath and reaching forward to place her hand on Jake's knee. "I want to have a baby. With you. Together."

Jake felt a small smile creep onto his face. "Ames..." He said quietly, a single tear rolling down his cheek. "Before I met you, I honestly thought I'd never have kids. And I'm still scared. And honestly, I don't know if this will ever stop scaring me. But I know you'll be there with me, and to be honest, we make a really good team."

Amy felt her mouth fall ever so slightly open, her eyes widening. "What are you saying?" She asked.

Jake laughed at the expression on Amy's face. He took a deep breath, nerves filling his body. But somehow, he felt sure. For the first time ever, he was sure of this. He wanted it. "I guess I'm saying - Amy Santiago, will you make a baby with me?"

Amy laughed wetly, tears streaming down her face. "Jake Peralta, it would be my honour," she said, throwing her arms around Jake and burying her head in his shoulder.

Jake held Amy there for what felt like hours. He loved this, having her snuggled into him. And even though he was really, really, really nervous for what was to come, he felt happy. He knew that together the two of them could conquer anything.

"Soooo..." Jake said, leaning back so he could look at Amy. "Is this baby-making thing starting tonight, orrrr....?"

Amy chucked and punched Jake lightly on the arm, before leaning in and kissing him softly. "I'd love that," she replied.

Jake grinned from ear-to-ear and leaned back in to kiss her again. He felt himself being pushed backwards onto their bed before Amy climbed on top of him and into his lap. One hand found her long hair and the other found her hip. And as they kissed each other on the night of their third wedding anniversary, they knew that things were about to change. A lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hopefully you guys enjoyed the first chapter! It’s not as long as I would’ve liked it to be but I included everything I wanted to in it so hopefully future chapters will be a little longer! I’m going to aim to update every 2-7 days, so you should get at least a chapter a week! Thanks again for reading!! <3


	2. The Pregnancy Test

It had been two months since Amy and Jake had started trying for a baby, and those two months had gone by faster than either of them could imagine. Amy didn’t tell Jake, but she was secretly reading pregnancy and parenting books to get a head-start on everything she’d need to learn when she did eventually fall pregnant. She was also tracking her cycles so she would know when she was most fertile, but she hadn’t told Jake about that either. She didn’t want to kill the mood, didn’t want to make sex feel like a task for her husband. She wanted things to stay fun and positive. After all, they’d probably be trying for months upon months before they got lucky. 

Jake was keeping a secret from Amy, too. Because actually, in his spare time, when Amy was working and he was home alone, he was researching articles about conception, and how best to achieve it. And on top of that, he was reading all about pregnancy and how to best care for a woman through all of it. Jake could be goofy and immature at the best of times, but if he was going to put his wife through nine months of hell and, on top of that, childbirth, then he wanted to make sure he was caring for her to the best of his abilities. He wanted to make sure things were as easy as possible for her. And he was sure he’d have plenty of time to learn, because they’d probably be trying for months upon months before they got lucky.

When they were alone together, the couple tried not to discuss the possibility of them getting pregnant. For Amy, this was because she was happy with the way things were going and she didn’t want to put a damper on their sex life. For Jake, this was because, deep down, he was still a ball of nerves over potentially becoming a father. Although he thought he was doing a pretty good job of hiding it.

At work, no one suspected a thing. At least not yet. Amy was a bad liar, both she and Jake knew that. And they often joked over the fact that next time Charles asked when they were going to start a family or Rosa teased them over becoming parents Amy would probably not be able to hide the fact that they were trying. 

It was Friday morning, Jake’s last day of work for the week and Amy’s second last. They were both due to start work at 9AM, so Amy drove them both there in her car. She much preferred to drive as Jake had never quite woken up by 8:30AM so it didn’t really feel safe, and on top of that he’d probably make them late. 

They were half way to work when Amy started to feel queasy. She tried to forget about it, tried to concentrate on the road, but man, she hated being sick. It would mean she’d have to miss work and then she’d fall behind and Captain Holt would be mad at her and-

“Ames,” Jake said concernedly, snapping Amy out of her daydream. She turned her head to the side to face him. “The light is green, you can go.” 

It was then that Amy heard the line of traffic beeping their horns behind her. 

“Oh!” She exclaimed, pressing on the break and jolting the car forward into drive again. “Oh. Uh, oops...” She trailed off, her stomach turning once again. 

“Are you feeling okay, Amy?” Jake asked worriedly. “Did you eat this morning?” 

Amy thought back. And no, she hadn’t eaten that morning. She’d just had a coffee. That was probably what was wrong. It must be. She’d eat when they arrived at the precinct. 

“I’m fine,” Amy said, forcing a smile onto her face. “Just hungry.” 

======

Jake and Amy arrived at the precinct five minutes early as they did every time they were on shift together. Jake put it down to Amy’s amazing time management skills. She really was extraordinary. 

That morning though, Amy seemed odd. Jake could tell something was wrong with her, he just wasn’t sure what. She hadn’t eaten breakfast yet so he was sure she was probably just hungry, but still... something seemed off.

Before her morning briefing began, Amy rushed to the kitchen and filled herself a bowl of the most sugary cereal she could find. 

“Hey! That’s our cereal!” Hitchcock exclaimed, pointing between himself and Scully with a stern look on his face. 

Amy just rolled her eyes, shoving a spoonful into her mouth. 

Amy managed to eat all the full bowl of cereal before she had to make her way down to her uniformed officers at 8:58AM. On her way past his desk, she gave Jake a quick kiss on the lips then rushed into the elevator to brief her team.

======

It was around half way through the morning that Amy’s nausea seemed to come to a head. She was sat at her desk when suddenly, her stomach did a backflip and she had to run to the bathroom. 

Disappointedly, the only way she could make it was if she used the gross downstairs bathroom. But she’d much rather endure the grimy toilets then vomit in the elevator on her way up.

Amy had barely locked the stall door when she began vomiting into the toilet bowl. 

After she was finished, she tried to straighten herself out in the mirror. Her hair looked messy and disheveled, and her mascara was running down her face due to her watery eyes. But she couldn’t let Jake see her like this. He’d definitely know she was sick and then he’d be worried and tell her to go home and she just couldn’t miss work. 

Amy sighed. Would this FOMO never go away? 

She thought back to the night before. She and Jake had finished work super late so they’d ordered takeout on their way home. That was probably why she was sick. It was a place they’d never tried before. Yes, that was it. Amy was willing to bet she just had minor food poisoning.

After removing her mascara carefully and rinsing her mouth out with water, Amy made her way back out to her desk to finish the rest of the morning.

======

At lunch time, Amy made her way upstairs to see what the rest of her friends were doing. 

“Hey, lieutenant!” Amy beamed at Terry, leaning against the doorway of the break room. “Is Jake around?” 

“Jake and Charles are out on a case,” Terry replied, looking up from his plate of chicken salad and smiling at Amy.

“Oh, okay,” Amy said. 

“Anything interesting going on downstairs?” Terry asked, shovelling a spoonful of his lunch into his mouth. 

“No, not really. Nothing out of the ordinary,” Amy said enthusiastically, taking a step further into the break room. She intended to sit down across from Terry, but something stopped her. Amy paused, wrinkling her nose up and crying, “Ugh! Your lunch smells gross!” 

Terry frowned, pulling his plate closer to him. “Terry is offended.” 

“I don’t smell anything,” Rosa said, walking in behind Amy and startling her. Rosa smirked mischievously. “You’re probably pregnant.” 

Amy froze. She tried her best to act natural, to keep her eyes from widening too much or the colour from draining out of her face. 

Amy laughed, probably too loudly, and rolled her eyes. “Haha, good one, Rosa,” she cried. “Haha!” Amy paused, backing away from her friends and towards the door. “Cool cool cool cool cool,” she said, nodding her head slowly. 

“Are you okay, Santiago?” Terry asked, knitting his eyebrows together in confusion. 

Amy was sure Rosa was staring at her knowingly.

“Yes! Fine!” Amy exclaimed, painting a huge smile across her face. “I should probably get back to work now! Bye!”

Amy turned on her heel swiftly, quickly pacing out of the bullpen and into the elevator.

Great, she thought. If no one had suspected anything before, they definitely would now. Especially Rosa. She totally knew.

Amy’s heart was beating a million miles an hour. She leaned against the wall of the elevator and squeezed her eyes shut, wiping the newly formed sweat from her brow with a shaky hand. This could not be happening. She was just sick, right? She just had a touch of food poisoning, right?

She wasn't pregnant, right?

Amy began to feel dizzy as she marched out of the elevator, through the precinct and out the front door. As she stumbled quickly along the street, the fall breeze ruffling her hair, a million and one thoughts crossed her mind. What if she really was pregnant? Sure, she wanted this. She wanted a baby. But... eventually. Not this soon. Every book she'd ever read, everyone she'd ever spoken to, every class she'd ever taken had suggested it took months, hell, years to get pregnant, even if you were in perfect reproductive health. This was impossible. Amy couldn't be pregnant now. Not yet.

She wasn't ready. She didn't expect this so soon. At thirty-nine, she wanted to start trying in the hopes she'd fall pregnant in the next year or so and have her first baby at the age of forty. That would have given her time to prepare, time to properly read up, time to plan. It would have given her time to stock up on baby supplies, time for her and Jake to move. Oh, god...

Jake.

If Amy was freaking out this much, how would Jake feel? How would Jake feel, the man who wasn't even sure he ever wanted kids just over two months ago, if Amy, the woman who had suggested they have a baby felt this way?

Amy tried to take a few deep breaths as she made her way into the pharmacy three streets down from the 99th Precinct. She rushed straight to the medical aisle, bumping into five people on her way, and snatched the first $1.99 pregnancy test she saw. Amy made for the cashier, then stopped dead in her tracks, turned around, and placed the cheap pregnancy test back. With a sigh, she grabbed another one, this time costing $4.99. The last thing she needed today was a false positive. Or worse, a false negative.

After purchasing the test as discretely as she could, Amy jogged quickly back up the street. She only had twenty minutes of her break left and in that time she had to take the pregnancy test, react to the results, hopefully eat (if she could stomach it) and get back to her desk in time for work resuming. Amy was barely paying attention when she approached the precincts front doors.

So much so that she didn't even notice Jake and Charles making there way up the stairs behind her.

"Hey! Ames!" Jake called, running towards his wife. He was really happy to see her, especially after he and Charles' most recent lead had fallen through. Amy always seemed to make things a hundred times better.

Amy froze where she stood, her eyes widening. She dug her hand deep into her jacket pocket to ensure the test hadn't fallen to the pavement behind her. Thankfully, it was still there, acting like a constant reminder of the potential life inside of her body. She turned around slowly to face Jake, plastering a fake smile on her face. "Hey, babe!"

"Hi, hun!" Charles cried out from behind Jake, causing both Jake and Amy to roll their eyes simultaneously.

"Pretty sure Amy was talking to me then, Charles," Jake said slowly.

"Why would you think that?" Charles asked, confused.

Jake stared at him incredulously for a second before giving Amy a look. Slowly, the three of them made their way up the stairs. Jake could tell something was still wrong with Amy, though. It was almost as though she was itching to get away from him, desperate to escape. Was she mad at him? Jake looked down at his feet and tried to think of anything he could've done to upset her. But no, he could think of nothing.

As soon as they were inside the precinct, Amy called out, "Okay, see you guys later!" and darted off towards the toilet. She tried to look as inconspicuous as possible as she entered the bathroom, but she could feel Jake and Charles' eyes on her as she raced away.

Amy was all set to take her test when she entered the ladies bathroom, but unfortunately there were so many of her colleagues in there that it would be pretty much impossible for her to go unnoticed. So Amy took the one option she could. She climbed the stairs to the fourth floor and entered the upstairs bathroom. Since the stairs entered at a different angle than the elevator did, she wouldn't have to walk by Jake's desk, or any of her friend's desks for that matter. It wasn't a bullet proof plan, but it was the best plan Amy could think of.

Inside the bathroom, Amy shot into a cubicle, locked it behind her and pulled the test out of her pocket. From reading the instructions, Amy gathered that all she had to do was pee on the stick, wait three minutes and then read her results. Simple. Easy.

As it turned out, not so much.

Amy had always considered herself to be pretty flexible, and to her knowledge, Jake sure thought she was too. But peeing on the stick and trying not to wet her hands, her clothes or the floor was one of the most challenging physical tasks Amy had ever carried out. But eventually she conquered the pregnancy test, and then suddenly she was sitting on the toilet lid, staring down at the test in her lap.

Her stomach flip-flopped around in her belly, or at least that's what it felt like. Three minutes felt like forever and, although she was terrified, when her time was finally up she literally couldn't wait a second longer to find out the results. Amy held the test up to her face.

She read it once.

Then she read it again.

A third time just to make sure.

And a fourth time, only to confirm it.

But Amy had read it right the first time. And even if it seemed impossible, even if it was too soon, even if she wasn't ready, the results of the test were incredibly, unrelentingly clear.

Positive.


	3. The Result

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I just wanted to drop in quickly and say thank you so much for the response this fic has received already! I hope you are all still enjoying it! I actually currently have six chapters written because I've kind of been on a writing roll with this story so expect more chapters really soon! Thanks so much again for reading!

Positive.

Amy was pregnant.

The world was spinning around her. She felt hot and cold at the same time. She could feel moisture on her upper lip, and suddenly she felt like she might throw up again. Amy stood up and stumbled out of the toilet cubicle, falling right into the sinks and staring into the mirror. She ran a hand through her hair, swallowing thickly. This couldn't be happening. This could not be happening. Amy was scared. She was so scared. Maybe she had made the wrong decision. Maybe she wasn't ready to be a mother. Maybe she'd be a bad mom. And Jake. How would Jake feel? He, too, was under the impression that it would take a while for Amy to get pregnant. Not two months! They had literally only tried ten times. How could this have happened? How could Amy be pregnant already?

Amy thought about keeping the test, but then she decided that was gross and unsanitary and not an Amy thing to do at all. So instead she took one final look at the positive sign, wrapped it in toilet paper and stuffed it in the bottom of the trash can before leaving the restroom.

Looking down at her watch, Amy realised she was four minutes late for work. Her eyes widened and she rushed back to her desk for the afternoon, throwing herself into her work and almost completely forgetting she was pregnant at all. Almost.

======

Jake tapped his hands impatiently on his desk, watching as Charles paced the bullpen. 

"I don't understand," Charles said irately.

"This case makes literally no sense," Jake sighed, looking back down at his notes and flicking through them. "No signs of forced entry. So the perp had to have a key. And the only person who has a key is Mr Colt's daughter. But she has an airtight alibi." Jake paused, thinking through the case again. He threw his hands in the air in defeat, his head falling back. "Nah, I got nothing."

"Have you two eaten?" Terry asked Jake and Charles sternly. "Because if not I really think-"

"Yes, mom," Jake said loudly, standing up and making his way over to the break room with Charles following closely behind him. 

Inside the break room, Jake used the vending machine to purchase a can of soda and a candy bar for lunch. Not the healthiest option, but what harm would it do him, really? He sunk down onto a chair, Charles sitting across from him. Jake unwrapped his candy bar and took a large bite of it, only now realising how hungry he was. 

"So how's Amy?" Charles asked slyly, clearly looking for some information on Jake and Amy's sex life or something equally as creepy.

"Not great today actually," Jake replied, cracking open his soda. "She was feeling pretty sick this morning."

Charles' eyes widened. "Morning sickness?" He questioned excitedly. "Am I finally becoming an uncle?"

Jake broke into a cold sweat. He knew Amy wasn't pregnant because she would've talked to him about it, but he had promised her he would keep Charles and the others off of their case for the time being. "Nah, buddy. Sorry." Jake said, trying to sound as casual as he could. 

Charles looked disappointed for a few seconds before he moved onto another topic of conversation. But Jake wasn't really listening. Now all he could think about was the fact that Amy had felt sick that morning. She couldn't be pregnant, could she?

Immediately, Jake shook that thought from his head. Amy definitely wasn't pregnant. He was sure of it.

======

That night, Amy got off work earlier than Jake, so she took a cab home and left the car for Jake to drive back to their apartment. Unfortunately, she still felt sick. She'd known to expect this though as the majority of pregnancy forums wanted to make it absolutely clear the sickness experienced during pregnancy did not just occur in the morning. It was an all day thing. Amy groaned internally at the thought of that. 

As soon as she got home, Amy changed into her pyjamas and climbed onto the couch with a blanket and a pregnancy book. She flipped to the first trimester section and began to read about the best ways of improving morning sickness. She'd wait till Jake got home to eat.

Around an hour later, she heard Jake's key in the lock. Hurriedly, she stuffed her book down the side of the sofa and unmuted the TV, trying to look relaxed and casual. Her husband sighed as he walked through the door and smiled at her. 

"Hey, babe," Jake said, kicking off his shoes and walking towards Amy to plant a kiss on her forehead. "You look cosy."

"I am," Amy giggled. She knew she had to tell him but... it was just so hard. She'd at least let him sit down first. "How was work?"

Jake walked into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of soda. "Not great actually," he sighed. "It took me literally forever to figure out a super simple case. I'm not sure what's wrong with me right now. I mean, it's not difficult to figure out the robber was the husband of the woman who had the only key to the house."

Amy frowned. Maybe tonight wasn't the best night to tell him. But still... she should tell him. "Aw, I'm sorry, babe."

Jake sat down on the sofa beside Amy, turning to her with a worried expression on his face. "Are you feeling okay? Better than this morning?"

Amy smiled and rubbed her tummy, faking mild pain. "Yeah, I'm okay. I think I just have a little bit of food poisoning. Are you okay after dinner last night?"

"I feel fine..." Jake trailed off. His stomach growled at the mention of food. "Actually, talking about food. I'm pretty starving."

Amy rolled her eyes and laughed. "That's because you never eat a proper lunch. Let me guess, you had a candy bar?" She said, raising an eyebrow at her husband.

"You know me so well!" Jake said jokingly, holding his hands up in surrender. "I'll order something. How do you feel about Chinese food?"

======

Amy and Jake snuggled up on the couch after eating their takeout to watch TV. Amy was finding this pregnancy thing really difficult already. She couldn't have her usual glass of wine or her usual seafood order from their favourite Chinese restaurant. And worst of all, she had to try to explain this to Jake. "I'm just tired," Amy reasoned, but she could tell Jake was at least a little suspicious of her.

Around the middle of the random movie they were watching on TV, Jake leaned over and started to softly kiss Amy's neck. "How are you feeling about baby making tonight?" Jake asked, running a hand through Amy's soft curls gently. 

Amy sighed, pursing her lips at Jake in an unsure manner. "I'm not sure. I'm pretty tired, Jake." And it was true, she was pretty tired. Exhausted in fact.

Jake let out a quiet sigh of relief, letting his head fall onto Amy's shoulder. "Thank God. I'm so sleepy, Ames." 

Amy giggled and looked down at Jake as he yawned. She started to play with his hair, and before long, he'd fallen asleep on the sofa next to her, his mouth slightly open and his body loose and floppy against her. 

Amy smiled for a minute before she realised. 

She'd missed her opportunity to tell him. And now she'd have to find a way to keep it a secret for at least one more entire day.


	4. The Announcement

Before Amy knew it, two weeks had gone by and she still hadn’t told anyone about her pregnancy. Not even Jake. She had actually gotten lucky. Jake was investigating a big murder case with Rosa so he’d been really distracted. If it wasn’t for that, he’d have definitely figured out something was up by now. Amy was an awful liar. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to tell Jake. She just hadn’t gotten the opportunity yet. And, deep down, she guessed it also had something to do with nerves. Amy was a bundle of anxiety over finding out she was pregnant and she knew Jake would be shocked which didn’t make her feel any better. She was worried that he would be mad at her or upset so she just kept putting off telling him, but she knew that soon the cat would be out the bag, no matter how either of them felt about it. 

Jake and Rosa had just run out the door to peruse a suspect when Holt called Amy into his office. Amy shuffled in awkwardly, nervous that she may be in trouble for some reason for another. 

Holt sat behind his desk. “Sergeant Santiago, I have a case I would like you to jump on with Boyle. If you have time of course.” 

Amy smiled proudly. Obviously Captain Holt thought she was doing a good job or else he wouldn’t ask her to help out. “Great, sir! What do you need me to look in to?” 

“I need you to investigate a possible meeting point for one of Brooklyn’s drug gangs,” Holt replied casually, placing his glasses on the tip of his nose so that he could read through his notes properly. “It may be dangerous so you will need to check some protective apparel out of the building to wear.”

“Oh,” Amy mumbled. She hadn’t thought about this. In the past two weeks, she hadn’t been asked to go out on any police business. She’d just been at her desk, managing her uniformed officers and filling out paperwork. Now she had a problem. “I... can’t, sir. I can’t do that.” Amy said, and then quickly afterwards, “I’m sorry.” 

Captain Holt frowned. “Are you ill, Sergeant Santiago?” He asked in his usual monotone voice. “If so, you know you are free to go home for-“ 

“I’m pregnant,” Amy blurted. Immediately she face palmed, sighing embarrassedly. “Sorry. I, uh, I’m pregnant. So I can’t.” 

“Oh!” Holt said, the pitch of his voice raising ever so slightly. If Amy hadn’t known better, she would’ve sworn she’d seen a small smile tugging at her Captain’s lips. “Oh. Well then, I believe congratulations are in order.” Captain Holt stood up and extended his hand towards Amy. “Congratulations, Santiago.” 

Amy shook his hand, grinning widely. It felt good to finally tell someone. “Thank you, Captain Holt!” 

“I will be sure to pass my congratulations onto Detective Peralta upon his return.” 

“Uh, yeah, about that,” Amy said nervously, fiddling with her hands. “I haven’t actually told Jake. Or anyone else.”

“Oh, I see,” Holt replied, raising his hand to his chin. “I am sure I can keep this quiet for now.” 

“Thank you, sir,” Amy said, nodding in gratitude. 

“You are dismissed,” Captain Holt said, gesturing towards the door. 

Amy smiled once more and turned to leave. She was half way out the door when Captain Holt cleared his voice and called her name. Amy turned round to face him again. 

“From this point on you are confined to desk duty,” Holt said firmly, sitting back down in his chair. 

Amy groaned inwardly before plastering a smile on her face. “I understand, sir. Thank you for your time.” 

Amy walked out of the door and towards the break room to grab a drink of soda. No. Water. Soda wasn’t good for the baby. 

Amy sighed as she sat down on the sofa. Being pregnant was already the most difficult thing she’d ever done. 

======

Just in time to go home, Jake and Rosa arrived back at the precinct. Amy was massively relieved. She was so tired and couldn't wait to go home and get to bed. She had been really tired since falling pregnant. In fact, she'd had to start wearing a lot more makeup to cover up how exhausted she was, but no amount of concealer and mascara could hide her pregnancy symptoms forever. 

"What are you looking so happy about?" Amy asked Jake with a small giggle.

"There was a huge break in the case," Jake grinned, leaning into kiss Amy. 

"We're gonna have this one solved in no time," Rosa said blandly, but Amy could've sworn she saw a smile on her friend's face. "Who's up for drinks at Shaw's?"

"We are!" Jake cried merrily while Boyle fist punched the air happily.

"Terry's in," Terry replied, a small smile on the face.

"I suppose I could join you for a few hours." Captain Holt said from the door of his office as he locked it up for the night.

Amy knitted her eyebrows together. "Jake, can we, like, not tonight?" She asked, yawning theatrically. "I'm super tired."

Jake laced his fingers together, fake praying to Amy. "Pleeeeaaaase, babe. Just for a little while. You don't have to work tomorrow anyways."

Amy opened her mouth to protest but sighed, deciding it was better to just give in and avoid any difficult-to-answer questions. "Okay." She held up one finger. "But only for a little while."

======

The Nine Nine team sat scattered around Shaw's bar that night. Charles was chatting to Rosa over a couple of beers and, by the look of disgust on Rosa's face, Amy could guess Boyle was probably interrogating Diaz about her and Jocelyn's sex life. Terry and Holt were sat at a table looking as though they were discussing work, and Jake and Amy sat in the corner of the room, in a booth together, watching their friends. 

Jake suddenly stood up. "I'm going to go and get us drinks," he said. "The usual for you?"

"No!" Amy replied, and much too quickly at that.

Jake frowned. "You want something else? A rum and coke or something like that?"

"No," Amy sighed, looking at her lap so she didn't have to look at Jake. She felt so guilty for not telling him yet and by the looks of it, she would have to tell him by the end of tonight, whether she wanted to or not.

Jake looked puzzled, before pursing his lips together. "Ames, is there something you're not telling me?" Jake asked quietly.

Amy sighed again and beckoned her husband to sit back down. "I don't know," she mumbled. "Um..." Amy trailed off. How was she supposed to do this? Especially without crying and alerting the others to her situation? She wasn't ready for this at all. She hadn't had time to mentally prepare herself and, above all else, this wasn't how she'd imagined revealing her pregnancy to Jake. 

"Ames, please tell me. Is something wrong?" Jake asked, concerned. His wife was starting to freak him out now and he really didn't know what to do. He had pretended not to notice something was off with her but he had certainly picked up on it. They hadn't tried for a baby in over two weeks. Jake was starting to think maybe Amy had changed her mind, that maybe she'd decided it was too soon. 

He sort of hoped she had. 

Or not sort of. Actually, he was beginning to think he might have made the wrong decision when he told Amy he was ready to have a baby.

"No. I mean, I guess not. It depends on what your definition of wrong is." Amy said. She looked up at Jake, tears swimming in her eyes. She reached across the table and took Jake's hand in her own. And then, dropping her voice to whisper so quiet she wasn't even sure Jake would hear her, she said, "Jake, I'm pregnant."

Amy watched the colour drain out of her husbands face. Her heart sunk to the bottom of her stomach as she noticed the lack of a smile on Jake's lips. She was right. He didn't want this. He wasn't ready. This was all happening way too quickly. And he was mad at her. No, worse. Disappointed in her.

"Jake," Amy cried quietly, tears clouding her vision. "Please say something."

Jake could physically feel his heart beat in his head. He could feel his breath quickening to the point he felt he was suffocating, never getting enough air in or out of his lungs. Slowly, he pried his hand away from Amy's and rose to his feet. And then quietly, without even so much as a last glance in Amy's direction, he walked towards the door and left the bar.

Amy covered her mouth with her hand, tears streaming down her cheeks. 

Silently, she watched her husband leave her behind.


	5. The Resolution

The others in the bar all turned their heads to look at Amy, seeming startled. Amy furiously wiped at her eyes. 

“Amy, is everything okay?” Boyle asked, sounding concerned and rushing to Amy’s side. “What’s wrong with Jake?” 

“Everything’s fine, Boyle,” Amy snapped, turning away from him. 

She thought telling Jake might not go perfectly, but she never could’ve imagined it would go this badly. 

She looked back up at the team to see they were all still staring at her. Her cheeks began to burn even redder as her eyes filled with tears again, and she stood to leave. 

Just as Amy was grabbing her purse, Rosa stood up. “Santiago,” she said. “Come with me.” She nodded towards the ladies bathroom. 

“Rosa-“ Amy began, shaking her dead. 

“Just come,” Rosa said firmly, walking towards the bathroom. 

Amy grabbed her purse and quickly ran after her dark haired friend. 

======

Jake stumbled along the street, his head spinning. He turned into an alleyway and leaned against the wall, catching his breath as well as he could.

How could he have done this? He was already so mad at himself for leaving Amy there. She’d be so upset and embarrassed. Rightfully so. 

He was going to be a father. 

Jake Peralta was going to be a father. 

He ran a hand over his sweaty face. No. This could not be happening. He wasn’t ready to be a father. He’d be terrible. Abysmal. He couldn’t even look after himself, never mind a tiny, helpless baby. He couldn’t do this. 

But could he? 

He wouldn’t be alone. The thought suddenly dawned on him. This baby was just as much Amy’s as it was his. Perfect, beautiful, smart Amy. The Amy he loved. The Amy who could organised anything. Anything in the world. 

Jake bet she could easily look after a baby. He knew she would be an amazing mother. 

Maybe this wasn’t such a bad thing. 

Jake stood there for a while, stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one side, this was an awful thing. He was immature, knew nothing about kids and the only baby he had ever held was little Ava. On the other side, this was an amazing thing. He and Amy were having a baby, a little child of their own that was half him and half his beautiful wife. They were starting a family. 

This was beautiful. 

This was magical. 

He was having a baby. They were having a baby. 

Jake’s eyes widened as he remembered what he had done and realised the severity of it. He took off running back towards Shaw’s, the cold night air tickling his skin. 

Jake burst through the doors. The only people left there were Terry and Charles. 

Charles immediately jumped to his feet. “Jake-y!” He exclaimed, hugging Jake tightly. “I was so worried! What happened?” 

Jake pushed Charles off him and held him at arms length. “Charles, this is very important. Where. Is. Amy?” 

“She’s sleeping at Rosa’s tonight,” Terry answered, standing up. “Whatever happened between you two really got to her.” 

Jake stumbled back, his head falling backwards as he realised he didn’t know where Rosa lived anymore. She’d moved in with Jocelyn and hadn’t told him. 

“Do either of you know where the hell Rosa’s apartment is?” Jake asked.

“No,” Boyle and Jeffords replied in unison, both shaking their heads. 

====== 

Amy timidly walked through the door of Rosa’s apartment and bent down to take her shoes off. 

“You don’t have to worry about that, Santiago,” Rosa said blandly, gesturing to Amy’s feet. 

Amy shook her head, continuing to remove her shoes and placing them beside the door. “Thanks so much for this Rosa,” she said quietly. 

“It’s okay.” Rosa paused. “But if you tell anyone where I live I will rip your heart out your chest and force feed you it.” 

Amy’s eyes widened. “I won’t tell anyone.” 

Rosa nodded. “We have to be quiet. Jocelyn is sleeping and I don’t feel like explaining to her why you’re here right now.” Rosa took a seat on the couch and patted the cushion next to her, inviting Amy to sit down also. 

Amy sat down on the sofa and opened her mouth to speak. 

“You’re pregnant, right?” Rosa said. 

Amy blinked a few times, completely startled. “No!” She exclaimed, then sighed when Rosa raised one eyebrow at her. “How did you know?” 

Ross shrugged. “It’s pretty obvious.” 

“Ho-“ Amy cut herself off, deciding to quit while she was ahead and not bothering to ask Rosa more details on how she’d known. Amy sighed. “I don’t know what to do, Rosa. Jake hates me. We decided this together but neither of us expected it to happen so soon.” 

“Jake doesn’t hate you,” Rosa said bluntly. “But screw him for what he did tonight.” 

Amy nodded. “Yeah, screw him,” she mumbled. 

“He’s probably just scared. I mean, aren’t you?” Rosa asked.

“I’m terrified,” Amy said. “And I knew he would be too. But that doesn’t excuse what he did tonight. That was uncalled for.” 

“Look, Santiago. Jake can be dumb and totally immature and honestly a complete asshole sometimes.” Rosa paused, looking directly into Amy’s eyes. “But he loves you. I can tell. And he will love this baby, once he gets over the shock of it all.” 

Amy nodded, twiddling her hands nervously in her lap. “I know. I’m just mad at him.” 

“Me too,” Rosa replied, and she and Amy sat there in complete silence with only their own thoughts to keep them company. 

======

Jake lay back on his bed, staring up the ceiling. He reached to his side and fumbled for his beer, taking a huge gulp of it. 

He didn’t know what to do. He wanted so badly to apologise to Amy and make everything better. But he didn’t know where Rosa lived. No one did. 

Hell, he was a detective. He should be able to figure this out. 

His eyes were starting to close over, his tiredness overtaking him, when he heard the key in the lock. He jumped out of bed, running down the hall in time to see Amy close the door behind her. 

“Ames!” He called out. “I’m so sorry. I thought you were staying at Rosa’s and I don’t know where she lives and-“

“It’s okay, Jake,” Amy replied quietly, looking up at him. “I decided not to sleep at Rosa’s. We need to decide what we’re doing. About us. About the baby.” 

“Ames, listen to me,” Jake said, taking a step towards her. “I am so sorry for what I did earlier. I didn’t mean it, I was just shocked and scared and... shocked.” 

Amy giggled a little. 

“I love you, Amy,” Jake continued. “And I love this baby. I’m terrified. But we’re a good team. We can do this. We can make this work.” 

Amy looked up at him, tears in her eyes. “Really?” 

“Yes,” Jake replied confidently. “And for the record, I’m actually really excited.”

“You are?” Amy exclaimed happily. “So am I!” 

Jake held his hand out, nodding towards his wife’s stomach. “May I?” He asked quietly. 

Amy grinned. “You may.” 

Jake sighed nervously and reached out, laying his hand on Amy’s flat stomach. And once it was there, he melted into her happily. Jake bent down till he was eye level with Amy’s tummy. 

“Hi baby,” he said quietly. “I’m your daddy.” He paused to look up at Amy. “This is weird, right?” 

“A little,” Amy laughed. “But keep going.” 

Jake laughed and got down on his knees, laying his cheek on Amy’s stomach and continuing to whisper. 

And for the first time all day, Amy and Jake both felt totally, completely happy.


	6. The Family Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope you are all enjoying the daily updates, and hopefully you guys like this chapter just as much as you like the others! :)

One week later, Amy and Jake were on their way to Amy’s first maternity appointment. As far as she knew, all she’d have to do was take a pregnancy test to fully confirm her pregnancy and then she would receive an ultrasound scan.

Amy was nervous. She was terrified, actually. To see the child she was carrying for the first ever time, to know it was a real thing and that in under a year she’d be a mother was so scary to her.

Jake, on the other hand, was more excited than he had been for anything in his entire life. Over the last week, he had not only come to terms with the fact he was becoming a father but had actually become hugely happy about it. He was thrilled, although still a little nervous he would screw something up.

Jake pulled up outside of the doctors office. For once, Amy had let him drive.

“How far along are you again?” Jake asked excitedly.

Amy sighed, placing a hand on her flat stomach. “I’m not actually sure. Maybe six weeks? Eight?” She looked at the clock. 

;I’m hoping the nurse can tell us. Come on, we have to go inside.”

======

Amy had taken her pregnancy test and, thankfully, she really was pregnant. Now it was time for her ultrasound, which she was both excited and horrified about receiving.

Amy was lying flat on her back, clutching Jake’s hand tightly as the nurse, whose name was Emily, squeezed the cold ultrasound liquids onto her stomach. Emily moved the wand around on Amy’s stomach which was a really strange feeling, until the room filled with a slight whooshing sound and Emily’s face lit up with a smile.

“And here,” Emily said, pausing to turn the screen towards the married couple, “is your baby.”

Amy gasped, taking in the sight. The baby was just a tiny, white blob, but she could hear it’s heart beat and see it’s little body. It was real. This was really happening. She really had a baby inside of her.

Jake’s eyes filled with tears as he saw his child for the first time. He tried to take in everything, to make a mental image that he would never forget. He never wanted to forget this.

“By the looks of it, you’re around 6 weeks along,” Emily told the couple, smiling at them. “The baby looks perfect, a very healthy size for its age.”

Amy smiled happily. “I’m so glad,” she said quietly.

Jake was so in awe that he couldn’t even speak. He stayed silent as for the rest of the appointment as they finished up everything else, completely inspired by his wife and their baby.

======

That night, as Amy slept next to him, Jake gazed at the scan photo of his unborn baby. He couldn't believe that just a week ago he had been so unsure about whether this was really what he wanted, nor could he believe that a few years ago he wasn't even sure he ever wanted a family. Now he had never been so sure of anything else in his entire life. This baby was the second best thing that ever happened to him (after Amy, of course) already and he hadn't even met it yet. He was still afraid of doing something wrong and screwing this kid up, but something inside of him knew that he would never be like his dad. He would never abandon Amy or their child, not in a million years.

Amy turned over in bed to face Jake, her eyes heavy with sleep. "What are you doing up?" She asked, her voice hoarse. Amy reached out to touch Jake's arm lightly. "It's three in the morning."

Jake smiled and looked up at Amy. "I just can't believe it," he whispered.

Amy smiled and leaned in closer to him, kissing his cheek gently. "Neither can I."

"Do you want a boy or a girl?" Jake paused. "Not that it matters. It doesn't matter at all. As long as she's healthy I don't care."

Amy raised her eyebrows. "She?" She laughed.

"I didn't say she," Jake said confusedly.

Amy rolled her eyes at him, laughing. "You did... but whatever you say. And for the record, I'd really like a girl, too."

Jake's eyes twinkled with excitement. "You would?" He exclaimed. Amy nodded. "When can we tell everyone? I'm really excited to tell Boyle and-"

"You cannot tell Boyle!" Amy cried, eyes wide. "The whole office will know in, like, a day if you tell him."

Jake knitted his eyebrows together. "We need to tell everyone anyways. May as well just let him do it for us."

Amy sighed. "Babe, you understand why we shouldn't tell everyone yet, right?" Amy asked. Jake shook his head, looking confused. "Before the first trimester ends, I'm still at risk... of loosing the baby. Especially with my age. Can you imagine how difficult it would be to tell hundreds of people that we weren't having a baby anymore? That's why we should wait till around the thirteen week mark."

Jake frowned sadly. "Oh," he said quietly. "Okay. I understand."

The couple were silent for a few minutes.

"We should probably tell our family first anyways," Amy chuckled.

"Oh, shoot!" Jake exclaimed, sitting up straighter. "You're right! I totally forgot!"

Amy bit her lip nervously. "Also, I should probably tell you..." Amy trailed off, then very quickly blurted out, "Captain Holt and Rosa already know, I'm sorry."

"Huh?" Jake asked. "Why does Holt know? And Rosa? When did you tell them?"

"Well, I figured it was really important for the Captain to know so he knew why I'd be refusing to leave my desk for the next 8 months," Amy said. Jake nodded understandingly. "And Rosa kind of just figured it out after our argument at the bar last week. She completed three years of medical school so she's probably pretty good at recognising pregnancy symptoms."

Jake widened his eyes in confusion. "Rosa? Medical school? What?"

Amy shrugged, laughing. "That was my reaction when I found out, too."

======

Amy's first trimester flew by quicker than she or Jake had expected. After the ten week mark, she stopped experiencing nausea throughout the day and started being able to concentrate properly on her work again. After the eleven week mark, she became more hormonal and moody than ever, which caused Jake quite a bit of trouble when he did something wrong at home. And after the twelve week mark, Amy's stomach had rounded out just the tiniest bit, forming a small baby bump that was easy enough to cover up with baggy clothing.

By week thirteen, the couple were absolutely desperate to let their family and friends know about their pregnancy. Especially the Nine Nine team. Amy and Jake knew their friends at work would be so excited. Plus, it was going to get harder and harder to hide as Amy's stomach grew.

The couple decided it would be easiest to get telling their parents out of the way all at once so, as awkward as they usually were, Jake and Amy decided to plan a family dinner at their apartment. Amy decided to do all of the cooking, which Jake knew was a horrible idea (his wife was an absolutely terrible cook) but felt it best for his safety to avoid arguing with her. Jake knew plenty of good Chinese takeouts around here for when they eventually had to replace dinner with something edible.

Camilla and Victor Santiago arrived and Jake and Amy's apartment twenty-five minutes early. Both of them pulled Amy into a hug when they arrived.

"Oh, Amy," Camilla said as she squeezed her daughter tightly. "We have missed you so much."

Jake stood awkwardly as his wife hugged her parents. Afterwards, Victor held out a hand for Jake to shake. Jake obliged uncomfortably.

"Jake," Victor said bluntly, nodding at Jake.

"Sir," Jake replied politely with a small smile. It was no secret that Victor Santiago was not Jake's biggest fan, and Jake suspected Victor would probably hate him even more after he learned the news.

"Hello, Jake," Camilla said warmly, offering Jake a tight hug.

"Hi, Mrs Santiago," Jake replied, hugging his mother-and-law gently.

"Now, Jake," Mrs Santiago replied, pulling away. "What have I told you about calling me that? It's Camilla to family."

Jake smiled and agreed to call her by her first name. He knew Amy's mom didn't exactly approve of him either, but Camilla was at least better at covering it up than Victor was.

Jake's parents, in true Peralta fashion, arrived late to the party. They greeted both Jake and Amy with huge hugs and a sense of excitement. Jake hadn't really been looking forward to seeing his father, who served as a constant reminder of how awful Peralta dads could be, but he made him feel welcome all the same.

The family all sat round the table as Amy proudly served up their starter, a bowl of what was supposed to be pea soup but just looked like green snot in a ball. Jake saw both his parents wrinkle their noses up at the food, while Amy's parents shared worried glances with each other.

And it seemed he wasn't the only one who picked up on these interactions.

Amy huffed, crossing her arms over her chest angrily. "What's the issue? Mom? Dad?" She snapped unhappily, while Jake cringed back into his chair. Amy's hormones were completely messed up right now and they both knew it.

"Nothing!" Karen exclaimed, trying clearly to take the heat off of Mr and Mrs Santiago. "The food looks delicious, Amy."

Jake offered his mom a small, thankful smile, hoping that this would help to resolve the issue.

Amy's face was just beginning to soften when Camilla scoffed. Jake's eyes widened in dismay.

"Amy, honey, I'm sorry but this is not edible," Camilla said honestly. "I think you need to take some cooking classes. I know a guy who-"

"What!?" Amy roared. "I have slaved away all day preparing this food for you! And this is how you repay me!? Have some respect, mom!"

The whole table went silent as Amy grabbed a bowl of soup and spooned a huge mouthful into her mouth. This would teach them. Her cooking was delicious. Amy felt confident at first, but then a disgusting flavour met her taste buds and her eyes widened. She tried her best to swallow the gross concoction but instead had to spit it straight back into the bowl it had come from while five horrified faces stared up at her.

Jake rubbed his face with his hands, trying to make himself feel less stressed. He knew this was a bad idea. He watched as hormonal-Amy burst into tears and began to sob.

"It's okay, babe," Jake said, in a panic. "I can order takeout. It's fine."

"But I worked so hard on it," Amy wailed, rubbing at her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, mom and dad. Sorry, Mr and Mrs Peralta."

"Is everything okay, Amy?" Roger asked, looking slightly concerned.

Amy sighed and sat down on the sofa, her head falling into her hands. "Tell them, Jake."

Jake coughed nervously as everyone's eyes focused on him. "Oooh, uh. Okay. No doubt, no doubt." He trailed off as Victor glared at him, waiting for the big announcement. Jake sighed nervously, but couldn't help the smile that stretched his face when he said it. "Amy's pregnant. We're having a baby."

======

Jake and Amy's parents all seemed to react well, especially Karen, who was ecstatic at the thought of having a grandchild, and her made her way round the room when she found out, giving everyone a hug. Both Karen and Camilla were excited to hear all about the pregnancy, but they both seemed more interested in hearing it from Amy than from Jake, so Jake didn't try to intervene when the three women made their way over to the kitchen to talk more. From his seat on the couch between his dad and Amy's, he had a perfect view of his wife, and he smiled as she saw her hand constantly resting on her nearly-non-existent-but-not-quite baby bump. He couldn't believe how lucky he was, to have both her and this baby.

Around five minutes later, Victor retreated to the kitchen to join in the conversation with the ladies. Jake understood. Victor had never been his biggest fan, and Roger wasn't the best at holding up a conversation. He had barely spoken to Jake that night, instead choosing to watch soccer on the TV and drink a couple of beers. Not that Jake wanted to talk to him. Jake was perfectly happy watching his wife leaning against the counter in their kitchen, rubbing circles over her stomach and smiling brighter than he'd ever seen her smile before.

When Jake decided enough was enough and started to stand up to make his way to his wife, he felt Roger's hand rest on his shoulder. "Jake," Roger said. Jake stared at his father's hand, feeling as though the touch was so strangely foreign, unnatural almost. "I wanted to talk to you. Before your mother and I leave."

Jake stared at his dad pointedly, his mind racing. "About what?" He asked, unsure of what kind of answer to expect. He stayed perched on the edge of the sofa, ready to make a run for it if need be.

Roger sighed. "I wanted to say I'm really proud of you. Of your job, and your life, and... everything else. I know you're gonna make a great dad."

Jake scoffed, anger rising inside him. "And what would you know about being a father?" And it was true. What would Roger know about being a dad? Aside from being involved in the actual _creation _of Jake, Roger really hadn't had much to do with us upbringing. He had somehow been an absent father without really being away for most of Jake's childhood.

Roger looked genuinely hurt, but Jake didn't care. He was just so damn angry. Angry at his dad for never being there, angry at him for cheating, angry at him for leaving, angry at him for being a goddamn crappy excuse for a dad, angry at him for getting back with Jake's mom, angry at him for showing up tonight. What right did he have? Why should he get to hear Jake's happy news before any of the squad did?

"I'm _your_ dad," Roger said quietly.

Jake stood up sharply. He could no longer be quiet, no longer hold the anger inside of him. Jake wasn't an angry guy, and he tried not to shout in front of Amy, but his dad had hit a nerve this time and he wasn't about to let it go. "You will NEVER be my father!" Jake shouted. The room went silent, and Jake could suddenly feel an extra four sets of eyes on him.

"Jake-"

"I'd like you to leave." Jake deadpanned, gesturing to the door with his hand.

"Oh, Jake," Karen said worriedly from the kitchen

Jake swung round. "If you're going to defend him then I think you should go too, mom," he said. Karen tilted her head at him desperately. "Please." Jake's voice broke on that last one. He tried as hard as he could to swallow the lump in his throat, but to no avail.

Karen opened her mouth to respond, looking between her son and her husband. She sighed, and in the end, chose to follow Roger out of the house. Jake collapsed onto the sofa, holding his head in his hands and trying to take deep breaths.

He heard hushed voices from the kitchen, and then the front door opened and closed again. Jake felt a weight next to him on the sofa, and he knew it was Amy. She ran her hand through his hair and said gently, "Jake. Sweetie?"

Jake sighed and laid his head on her lap, not looking up at her. "I don't wanna talk about it," he said, a yawn following.

He heard Amy begin to protest, and then she just said, "Okay."

Amy ran her hands through Jake's hair gently until he fell asleep, right there on the couch of their apartment, and Jake didn't regret what he'd said. Not one bit. Not at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you all enjoyed the chapter! I’m working on chapter 7 right now, but tonight I’m going to be seeing the premier of the K-12 movie and the IT Chapter 2 movie, so if there isn’t an update tomorrow there will be one the day after. Thanks so much for reading!!


	7. The Nine Nine

The next morning, Amy awakened to the smell of bacon cooking in the kitchen. She froze, taking a quick sniff, checking to see if this was another scent she was repulsed by. The smell didn’t seem to turn her stomach, and she wasn’t sure whether that was because she was finally out of the first trimester.

Amy knew her first trimester hadn’t gone as awfully as she’d heard of some women’s going. Her sickness and nausea had been minor compared to some people, and she hadn’t really had a lot of the other symptoms often complained about, like tender breasts or moodiness, until she was about to enter her second trimester. She’d gotten off lightly, but Amy had always hated throwing up, so doing it everyday had become really difficult for her. 

That stage of pregnancy was quite clearly over though, as she was able to hop out of bed, pull on one of Jake’s old tee-shirts and make her way through to the kitchen without gagging once.

She smiled, leaning against the kitchen counter as she watched her husband, who had his back to her. He was singing along to Taylor Swift, dancing around the kitchen and cooking what looked like an amazing breakfast. Jake wasn’t the best cook, but he knew how to make a great plate of bacon and eggs.

Amy made her way over to Jake and wrapped her arms around him, leaning into his back. “Mmm, smells good,” she hummed in delight. 

Jake chuckled, turning his head so that Amy was in his line of vision. “Well, I thought I should apologise for sleeping on the couch last night. I know you hate when I do that.”

Amy frowned, stepping back as Jake turned off the heat on the bacon and eggs. “Jake, about that...” she trailed off, fiddling with her hair. “We should really talk about what happened last night. With your dad.” 

Jake handed his wife a plate of breakfast and smiled at her slightly. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

Amy sighed, and Jake noted the look of concern on her face. “Jake...”

Jake frowned and picked up his own plate, making his way over to their dining table with Amy following him. Truth be told, he was really embarrassed about what had happened the night before, especially since it had occurred in front of Amy’s parents.

“Ames,” Jake said, trying to sound reassuring. “It’s fine. I’m fine. Really.” 

“Really?” Amy asked, raising her eyebrows as she took a drink of her orange juice. She was becoming frustrated now. She hated it when Jake hid his emotions from her, although she knew he just didn’t want to stress her out. “Because you didn’t seem fine to me last night.” 

“Amy-“ 

“No, Jake. You listen to me.” Amy pointed at herself, hormones causing anger to bubble inside of her. “Roger is a crappy excuse for a father, I know that. So do not be embarrassed for putting him in his place. He treated you and your mom like dirt, I understand that. Don’t be scared to talk to me.” 

Jake sighed, chewing on a rasher of bacon. “I just don’t want him anywhere near our baby, Ames,” he said quietly. 

“Jake,” Amy sighed. “It’s your decision. But I honestly think your dad is trying. I think he wants to make it better, he seemed sincere last night, at least to me. But it’s your choice. I’m not gonna fight you on this.” 

Jake was conflicted. On one hand, he hated his dad for everything he had put him through as a kid, everything he’d put Karen through. But on the other hand, his dad was still his dad, and maybe he was trying to make it better.

“You really think people can change that much?” Jake asked. 

Amy smiled gently. “I do.” 

======

And that’s how, later on that night, Jake found himself sat on the sofa, contemplating whether or not to call his family home.

He trusted Amy, and if Amy really believed that his dad was trying to build a bridge between them, then he believed her. 

Taking a deep breath, Jake dialled the number and held the phone to his hear. 

“Jake?” His mom’s voice said quietly on the other end of the line.

Jake smiled at the sound of his mom’s voice. “Hey, mom,” he said quietly, glancing over his shoulder to make sure he hadn’t woken Amy. “Is... is dad there?” 

Karen breathed a sigh of relief. “He is. Do you want me to put him on?”

Jake nodded slowly, before realising she couldn’t actually see him and saying, “Yeah.” 

“Jake... I’m so glad you called,” his mom said, and then there was a rustling noise and she passed the phone over to Roger.

“Hi, dad,” Jake said, cringing as he used the word. He hated saying it, hated referring to Roger as his dad. Because in all his life, Captain Holt had been more of a father to him than his own father had been. But he’d set that aside for him. 

“Jake, I didn’t think you’d wanna talk to me,” Roger said. 

“I wanted to apologise. For what went down. For... for what I said.” Jake whispered, now more careful than ever not to wake Amy. He couldn’t hear her moving around, so he was sure he was in the clear. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. I hope it won’t stop you from coming round again.” 

Roger sighed. “Thank you, son. I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have touched the nerve.” 

Jake nodded. “Okay. I’m glad we figured it out.” He paused. “Night, dad.” 

“Night, Jake.” 

Jake hung up the phone and placed it down on the coffee table in front of him. He ran a hand through his hair, reminding himself how much he needed a haircut. He felt better, maybe not completely, but a little. At least he could say he was the better man.

Jake made his way through to his bedroom, tip-toeing quietly so as not to wake Amy, but when he got to the bed, he could see that Amy was awake and looking up at him.

“You called your dad,” she whispered, in a statement rather than a question. 

“Yeah,” Jake replied in a hushed tone, climbing into bed.

Amy placed her head on his chest, snuggling into his side. “I’m proud of you.” 

“Thanks,” Jake whispered, leaning over to kiss her on the forehead. He laughed quietly. “I’m proud of me too.” 

======

Amy was sixteen weeks, or four months, into her pregnancy before she and Jake decided it was time to tell the squad. After telling their parents had turned into such a massive disaster, they were both really nervous to break the news to anyone else, but by the fourth month, Amy’s bump was getting big enough that they wouldn’t be able to hide it anymore. 

They had talked over how they would announce it a few times. At first, they’d thought about having a big, extravagant announcement, like what Jake did with the Halloween Cummerbund when proposing to Amy. But honestly, Amy was way too tired, and Jake completely understood, though he would’ve liked to make a big song and dance over it. 

Instead they elected to call all their closest friends into the briefing room and announce it there, calmly and all adult-like.

Amy stared into the mirror, running her hand over her baby bump. In her Sergeants uniform, it was only just visible, and really you wouldn’t be able to notice it if you didn’t know she was pregnant. But Amy knew, and it was so obvious to her. 

She turned to the side and ran a hand over it, smiling slightly. Now that she could see it, could physically see the evidence of her baby, she was more excited than ever. 

Jake emerged from the bathroom behind her, a towel wrapped round his waist, his chest dripping wet from the shower. He smiled as he dried off his hair. “Your bump is so cute.” 

Amy bit her lip as she stared at her husbands reflection in the mirror. Along with the four month mark had come a new influx of hormones, and now she was hornier than ever. She was basically four-drink-Amy all the time now. Four-month-Amy.

She turned round and walked towards Jake, desire burning in her eyes. “Do you think we have time to... you know, before work?” She ran a hand down the centre of his chest, stopping just above where the towel started. 

Jake’s eyes sparkled with excitement. “Seriously?” He grinned. 

Amy nodded, still biting her lip. Jake pulled her towards him and kissed her soundly on the lip, before pushing her back onto the bed.

“What-“ Amy began, desperate to just pounce on him. 

Jake shook his head, gently running a hand over her cheek. “If we’re going to do this, then it’s going to be all about you. Got it?” 

======

Jake and Amy were sure they'd be late for work, but fortunately, though they were flustered, they arrived on time. They rushed into the briefing room, Amy worried about showing up after Captain Holt had started talking, and Jake following quickly behind her. Thankfully though, they reached the room before Holt had taken up his stance at the podium. Amy slid into an empty seat next to Rosa, while Jake sat next to Charles. 

"Morning, Jake-y," Charles chimed. He looked down at his watch then back up at Jake. "You got here just in time."

Jake panted, out of breath, and glanced over at Amy. She was glowing, which might have been due to the lighting, or of course it could've been the sex, but either way she looked amazing. 

Captain Holt's briefing was much shorter than usual, probably due to the fact that Jake and Amy had asked him if they could have the floor for a few minutes. When it was over and everyone was beginning to leave, Holt called, "Boyle, Diaz, Jeffords. Stay behind."

The three of them looked at each other, wondering if they'd done something wrong. Jake and Amy locked eyes, giving each other a reassuring nod.

"Peralta and Santiago have requested that I keep you here so they can inform you of some news," the Captain said, stepping aside. 

Jake and Amy walked up slowly, grinning. 

"Oh my god, it's happening!" Charles muttered excitedly, standing up and squealing. 

"Charles, sit down," Jake laughed. He grinned at three of his closest friends. "Amy and I have something we want to let you guys know."

Amy smiled widely, placing a hand on her stomach. "I'm pregnant! Surprise!"

Charles squealed again, crying out something about 'America's dream baby', and enveloped Jake in a bone-crushing hug. 

"Congratulations!" Terry said excitedly, giving Amy and tight squeeze. 

Captain Holt watched knowingly from the corner of the room, while Rosa wrinkled up her nose. "Surprise? I've known for months."

Jake's eyes widened in horror at what Rosa had blurted out. Charles pulled away from him. "Wait, so Rosa knew before I did? How could you, Jake? Are you replacing me?" Boyle rambled sadly, sitting back down in his chair. 

"My fault!" Amy blurted, pulling away from the lieutenant. "I asked him not to tell you."

"How dare you?" Charles gasped. "I'm Jake's best friend! He tells me everything!"

Jake gave Amy a silent look of thanks, and she nodded at him, smiling, as if to say 'anytime'.

======

Whilst Diaz, Boyle and Jefford's were talking to Amy about the baby, and Jake was watching from afar again, Holt walked over to him to stand by his side. 

"Well, Peralta," he said, turning to face Jake. "I've been waiting to say this for a while now. Congratulations."

Jake smiled, holding out a hand for his Captain to shake. "Thank you, sir."

But to Jake's surprise, Holt completely ignored the hand extended to him and instead pulled the younger man in for a very brief, very awkward hug. "I'm so proud of you, son," Captain Holt whispered, before quickly releasing Jake before anyone say. 

Jake could feel tears welling up in his eyes as he nodded to his surrogate father in thanks. 

And that's when Jake knew, even if he wasn't on the best of terms with his biological father, this baby was going to have plenty of grandfather's to go around.


	8. The Gender Reveal

Now that Jake and Amy's family knew about Amy's pregnancy, the couple were finally able to relax and begin planning for the future. They knew that at some point they'd have to move to a new apartment, but Jake was surprised when, at only eighteen weeks pregnant, Amy called a real-estate agent and dragged Jake along to a two-bedroom-apartment viewing. Or, no, he wasn't really that surprised, because this was Amy and she was the most organised person he knew. In the end, though, she was lucky he took her along because the apartment ended up being perfect for them, and after a short financial discussion outwith the apartment complex, they placed down a deposit and put Amy's old apartment up on the market. 

"You know this means we have to start packing now, right?" Amy had said that night, changing into her pyjamas. 

"Yeah, I know," Jake had replied sadly. He was kind of sad to know that in a few weeks, when their current apartment had hopefully sold, they'd move out and never return to their first shared apartment. 

But he quickly got over the disappoint when he remembered the reason that they were moving, that soon there'd be three of them, not just two.

======

It wasn't until the night before Amy's twenty-week-check-up-scan that they had the gender reveal conversation. 

"Do you want to, you know-" Amy began, climbing under the duvet in bed, but Jake cut her off. 

"Have sex?" He exclaimed excitedly, throwing down his book. 

"No," Amy laughed, rolling her eyes. "But that, too... I was just wondering whether or not you want to find out the gender of the baby tomorrow?"

"Oh, for sure," Jake said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Amy smiled, leaning in to kiss Jake quickly. "Me too. I'm glad we agree."

Jake nodded, grinning as he wrapped his arm around his wife. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Amy whispered, biting her lip when she noticed for the one-millionth time how attractive Jake actually was. "So about the sex that we were talking about..."

======

Amy felt a weird mixture of nervousness and excitement as the gender scan appointment drew closer and closer. Jake was going to meet her at the doctors office because he was working so they’d scheduled the appointment for his lunch break so he could be there. She was in the waiting room, nervously twiddling her hair round her finger, when her nurse, Emily, called her in.

Amy glanced around the room, checking to see if Jake had arrived. He hadn’t, so she followed Emily into her office and sat across the desk from her. 

“No daddy today?” Emily asked. 

“He’s coming,” Amy said, nodding to reassure herself.

Half an hour passed by, with Emily asking Amy questions related to how her pregnancy had been, and Jake still hadn’t arrived. Amy kept glancing at the clock and, with every five minutes that passed by, she felt more and more anxious about Jake’s lack of an appearance. 

Emily frowned at. “We can reschedule if you-“ 

“Excuse me one second,” Amy said breathlessly, rising from her seat and leaving the room. 

She made her way outside, trying desperately to inhale as much of the fresh air as she could. What if something had happened to him? He’d never miss this appointment, he’d been so excited this morning. 

Amy grabbed her phone out of her purse, dialling Jake’s number. 

No answer.

She called again. 

No answer.

Amy was starting to panic now, sweat dripping down her forehead and her breathing becoming erratic. 

Just as she felt she might pass out, she heard a pair of footsteps running up behind her and felt a pair of arms wrap round her waist. 

“Sorry I’m late, babe,” Jake’s voice said. “Are you okay?” 

All of Amy’s nerves were suddenly replaced by anger, and she whipped round and punched him on the arm, hard. 

“Ouch!” Jake winced. “What did you do that for?” 

“How could you?” Amy screeched, starting cry as she threw herself into his arms. “I thought something happened to you.” 

“Babe,” Jake whispered, kissing her hair. “I was just running a little - okay, a lot late. Work has been crazy today.” 

“Okay,” Amy wailed. 

“I’m sorry for scaring you,” Jake said, holding his wife at arms length and wiping her tears away. He hated seeing her cry, especially over something he’d down.

Amy nodded and brushed her hair out of her face. “I waited for you,” she said quietly, straightening out her blouse and grabbing Jake’s hand to lead him inside.

The couple awkwardly entered Emily’s office, who Amy was sure could tell she’d been crying. 

“Sorry I’m a little late,” Jake said, shrugging as Amy perched herself on the little bed in the corner of the room. 

Emily told him it was okay, then proceeded with the scan. Amy was still mad at Jake. He knew she was stressed and hormonal, and he knew how important it was the her that this scan went smoothly.

However, all of her anger seemed to melt away when the gentle thudding of her babies heartbeat filled the room. She sighed happily, relaxing back into the seat, her hand finding Jake’s.

Jake was mesmerised every time he heard that sound. He couldn’t believe that there was a little, tiny person in Amy’s tummy, half of him and half of her, and in just four months he’d meet them.

Emily was staring at the screen, smiling, when she turned to them and asked, “Do you want to know the gender?” 

Jake and Amy glanced at each other, just to make sure, and then they both nodded nervously at their nurse.

Emily nodded back and turned the screen to face them. “This,” she said happily, “is your healthy baby girl.” 

======

That night, Jake and Amy lay in bed together. Jake had drifted off to sleep easily after all the excitement of finding out the gender of their baby, but Amy was still awake, staring at the ceiling. 

She couldn’t stop thinking about how scared she had been earlier that day when Jake had showed up late. She didn’t know what she’d do if she lost him, if he never got to meet their baby girl. She had never really thought properly about how dangerous their jobs were before. Well, of course she knew that being a detective came with risks, but since being pregnant she had never really considered that her little girl could grow up missing one of her parents. Or worse, both of them. 

“Jake,” Amy whispered, shaking Jake’s shoulder.

“Ames,” Jake groaned sleepily, his eyes opening slightly. When he saw the tears in her eyes, he jumped into an upright position and grabbed Amy’s arm. “Is everything okay? Is it the baby?”

“No,” Amy laughed through her tears, shaking her head. “We’re fine... I’m just... scared.” 

Jake cupped her face his hand. “Why?” 

“I’m scared one of us won’t come home one day,” she said, reaching up and placing her hand on top of his. “You really scared me earlier, Jake.” 

Jake sighed. “I’m so sorry, Ames.” 

Amy shook her head. “It’s not your fault.” 

Jake moved in closer, looking deep into his wife’s warm, brown eyes. “Amy, I promise you, I will do everything in my power to always come home to you. No matter what, I’ll fight for you and I’ll fight for our daughter.”

Amy couldn’t help but smile. “Daughter...” 

“I know, right?” Jake exclaimed, grinning. “It feels so weird to say.” 

“I can’t believe we’re having a little girl,” Amy sighed happily, all of the stress of Jake not showing up earlier in the day melting away. 

Jake smiled. He hadn’t really stopped smiling all day, not since he found out the baby was girl. He couldn’t believe he was going to be a father to a baby girl, that he was going to have a daughter. If she looked anything like Amy she would be so beautiful, and he hoped she would be as smart as her too, with the same caring personality. He was going to be the most protective, loving dad ever, he knew that now.

======

Jake watched as Iggy played in the corner of the room. She was singing quietly and twirling round and round, dancing around the room with a pair of glittery, purple fairy wings on her back.

“So how’s, what’s her name? You know, Abby?” Gina said, tapping her chin in fake confusion. 

Jake rolled his eyes. “You know my wife’s name is Amy.” 

Gina smiled cheekily. “I sure do, but it’s fun to pretend.” She paused. “Really though, how is she? Being pregnant freaking sucks, man.” 

“She’s actually doing pretty good,” Jake said matter-of-factly. “She was pretty sick in the first ten weeks or so but now she’s feeling a lot better.”

“Hmm, lucky,” Gina said slyly, narrowing her eyes. Jake couldn’t help but laugh. 

Jake felt a little hand pulling on his shirt, and when he looked down, Iggy was staring up at him with her big eyes. She was almost five now, and looked more like Gina than he thought was possible. She reminded him so much of Gina when they were young and it scared him everything.

“Uncle Jake-y,” she said in her cute, little baby voice. “Will you pway wif me?” 

Jake smiled and took her hand, bowing to her. “Of course I will, little Princess.” He could feel Gina’s smiling face as she lowered himself to the floor and crawled along next to Enigma on his knees. 

Iggy immediately asked him to play fairies with him, and he obliged straight away. With a smile on his face, he imagined what it would be like to play games with his own daughter, and realised that time wasn’t all that far away from him.


	9. The School

By week twenty-five of Amy’s pregnancy, she barely fit into any of her pre-baby-bump clothes, and it was starting to show. Her bump had stretched to the point where she wasn’t really able to wear anything outside of work other than a pair of Jake’s sweatpants and one of his tee-shirts, and at work, her sergeants uniform barely fit her. 

On the Tuesday of her twenty-fifth week, Amy was welcomed to the precinct by an exasperated sigh from Rosa. When she turned around, Rosa was glaring at her, and Amy crossed her arms over her chest defensively. 

“What is it?” Amy asked self-consciously, trying to appear confident in front of Rosa. 

“Amy, I love you but so help me God, if you do not buy some clothes that fit you, I will throw you out of that window,” Rosa said through gritted teeth, pointing towards the large window in the corner of the room. 

Amy opened her mouth to argue with Rosa’s empty threat but then sighed. “Fine,” Amy groaned. “You’re right. I guess I just don’t want to admit it yet.” She rubbed a circle over her growing baby bump. Amy isn’t sure she’s ready for this body-changing-forever stuff quite yet, so she planned on just completely denying it until she couldn't anymore, but she knew Rosa was right. 

Rosa made Amy promise to order a new sergeants uniform that fitted her better and told Amy she would meet her downstairs during lunch to do some maternity clothes shopping. This was completely unlike Rosa, and that's how Amy could tell that Rosa could tell how stressed she was. 

It wasn't that Amy wasn't happy, or that things weren't going well at home. On the contrary, Amy was thrilled and so, so excited, and Jake was being amazing. He was the best husband she could've asked for and she had no doubt that, when the time came, he was also going to be the best father to their child. And being on desk-duty wasn't too much of an issue for Amy. Sure, she was bored, but it made her feel safe and protected, it made her feel like a better mother. Jake was the problem, because since he wasn't actually the one carrying the baby, he was still working the field, and that day he was out working a potential homicide case with Boyle, which meant Amy's anxiety was at pretty much maximum capacity.

When she had briefed her team and was sat at her desk with nothing to do (because of course Amy Santiago was completely caught up on all of her paperwork from the day before), Amy put in an order for a maternity sergeants uniform, looking over her shoulder constantly. For some reason, she was embarrassed in case anyone saw it, like being pregnant made her weak. Amy scoffed at that one. Yeah right, as if growing a tiny human inside of you then birthing it all on your own didn’t make you an absolute badass. 

When lunchtime came, Rosa was waiting for Amy at the bottom of the elevator, and the two of them made their way to a coffee shop across the street for some lunch. 

“So you’re getting pretty... huge,” Rosa said in her usual deadpan voice, sipping on her herbal tea, which Amy had been surprised to learn was actually Detective Diaz’s favourite. 

“Yeah,” Amy said happily, her hand on her bump. “I guess I am.”

“You look ridiculous. The buttons on your shirt are pretty much popping open.” Rosa paused. “But it’s kind of cute. I’m happy for you guys.”

“Awww, Rosa-“ 

“If you tell anyone I said that, I’ll-“ Rosa growled.

Amy cut her off by waving her hands in protest, saying, “I’m not gonna tell anyone.” 

Rosa smirked slightly. “Good. Now tell me what’s worrying you.” 

Amy sighed. She knew Rosa had worked it out. “I’m just worried about Jake. I hate that he still has to work out in the field. I mean, I get he has a job to do and he has to follow leads on cases, but it kind of sucks. He’s in danger everyday and there’s nothing I can do about it.” Amy felt both weird and relieved having spoken about her feelings. She’d never worried this much about Jake before. Who knew having a baby could change this much about your life? 

“Santiago, you know Jake is an amazing cop. He knows what he’s doing. If he didn’t know what he was doing, he wouldn’t be out doing it. He won’t take any risks he doesn’t need to, especially with... you know, a baby on the way.” 

Amy smiled. It was almost as if it physically hurt Rosa to say the word baby, as if it was that foreign to her.

“Does it freak you out?” Amy asked, smiling slightly, sure that she’d worked out one of Rosa’s weaknesses. 

“Does what freak me out?” Diaz asked.

“That I’m having a baby. With Jake. That Jake and I are having a baby?” 

Rosa wrinkled her nose up. “No, literally nothing freaks me out.” She paused. “It’s just kind of... weird. Like I’ve known you guys for so long and now you’re gonna be parents.”

Amy nodded. “It is weird.” She smiled, looking down at where her hand still rested on her stomach. “Good weird.” 

======

After eating, Amy and Rosa ventured out to find Amy some maternity clothing. Amy was happy after buying a few shirts, some suit-pants and blazers, but Rosa wanted her to buy some non-work-wear too. After a brief period of disagreement from Amy, she relented and bought a couple cute dress and some comfortable shoes (because her feet had swollen to almost one-and-a-half-times their usual size). 

Amy was surprised at how good a shopping partner Rosa made, and equally as surprised by how well educated she seemed to be on fashion. She knew which shapes and colours would suit Amy, which was strange since Rosa wasn’t exactly adventurous with her dress-sense. Nevertheless, Amy ended up leaving with some items of clothing she never would’ve thought she could pull off, but she actually felt really confident wearing. 

Rosa was an amazing friend, even if Amy would never admit it to her for fear of being made-fun-of or playfully threatened. Detective Diaz had been there for her through some really bad times and some really good ones as well. Amy thought back to when Rosa consoled her after she and Jake’s fight in the bar, and instantly decided that Rosa would be known as ‘Auntie Rosa’ when the baby was born. It was the least she could do. 

When Amy and Rosa arrived back at the precinct, there was still some time left of lunch, so Amy followed Rosa into the elevator and up to the fourth floor of Brooklyn’s 99th precinct. 

As they entered the bullpen, Amy couldn’t help but notice Charles at his desk, while Jake was nowhere to be seen. She rushed over, fearing the worst, but knowing in her heart that he was safe or else Charles would be a crumpled mess on the floor right now. 

“Charles?” Amy said. “Where’s Jake?” 

Charles smiled at her cheerily. “Don’t worry. The case turned out to be a case of natural causes. He decided to go alone to let the family know about the death.”

Amy nodded, feeling relieved. “Thanks, Boyle.” 

Amy settled herself at the table in the break room, which was filled with Rosa, Hitchcock and Scully. She reached into her purse for a pen and began to fill out the crossword that was sat in the centre of the table. 

Amy had just filled out the first answer when Terry came crashing into the room, demanding everyone go to Captain Holt’s office immediately. Amy and Rosa exchanged worried glances before hurriedly traipsing along behind Terry. 

Inside the office, Captain Holt was bent over his desk, listening alertly to a radio broadcast. Behind Amy and Rosa, Charles and Terry entered the room, and they all listened in to what seemed to be a Police Broadcast concerning a school shooting in Brooklyn. 

Amy could feel tears stinging her eyes as she thought about all the poor, terrified kids.

The room was quiet as they all listened to the broadcast, until Charles audibly swallowed and spoke up, “Amy?” 

Amy whipped around to look at him. Upon seeing the concerned look in his eyes and how pale and clammy he had suddenly become, and squeaked out, “What is it?” 

“That’s... that’s a block away from where Jake is right now.” 

Amy felt okay at first, and then it hit her. Because her husband was a hero, and he loved kids, and he was having his own now he wouldn’t let anyone else’s get hurt. He’d do anything to help. Anything. 

Her blood ran cold and she felt like she might faint. She ignored Rosa and Charles trying to grab onto her arms as she stumbled from the Captain’s office, pulling her phone out of her pocket and dialling Jake’s number. 

He answered after the first ring. 

“Jake,” Amy croaked, feeling her eyes fill with tears because she knew what he was going to say. 

“Ames,” he replied quietly, and she could hear loud noises in the background. “I have to.” 

“Jake, no-“ 

“I have to help. I have to try.” He paused. “What if it was our little girl?” 

Amy felt a lump forming in her throat. She shook off Terry’s hand which had found its place on her shoulder. “No, don’t do that, Jake,” she hissed. “Don’t do this to me.” 

“Ames, I love you.” 

“No, please.”

“I’ll be home soon, I promise.” 

“Jake-“ 

“I love you.” 

“Jake!” 

And he hung up the phone.


	10. The Wait

Amy’s blood ran cold as she realised what had just happened, and that Jake had hung up the phone, and that maybe, just maybe, she would never hear his voice again. 

And she hasn’t told him she loved him. 

“Jake,” Amy whispered hoarsely, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Jake?” She paused, but all she heard as silence, and the baited breath of her friends around her. “I love you, too,” she mumbled, before stuffing her phone away in her pocket. 

“Santiago,” Captain Holt said softly from behind her. 

Amy turned around and nodded at him, wiping furiously at the tears of her cheeks. She could see Boyle, curled into a ball in the corner of the room with Rosa trying her best to comfort him, but looking closer to tears herself than Amy had ever seen her before. Terry and Captain Holt were looking at her with sympathy and pain in their faces. Terry was crying already, but Captain Holt just looked terrified, as if the whole situation physically hurt. Which it did. It hurt Amy. 

“Why...” Amy whispered. “He’s... gone.” Her voice cracked, sending her into a stream of tears and sobs, and she fell to the floor without even realising it, as if her body just gave in, as if her legs couldn’t hold her up any longer. 

She felt arms around her but she buried her head in her knees, rocking herself back and forth. She was sobbing, louder now, probably loud enough that the whole precinct, no, the whole street could hear her. But she didn’t care. All she could think about was Jake, and she couldn’t breathe. 

“Amy, woah,” Terry’s emotional voice cut through the ringing in Amy’s ears. “Please. This isn’t good for the baby.” 

The word ‘baby’ alone made her try to take a deep breath. The baby. She had almost forgotten. She loved her baby so much already, and if something happened to Jake, his daughter might be the only thing Amy would have left of him. She had to do her best, for Jake. She couldn’t risk their little girl. 

Amy took as many deep, long, slow breaths as she could, until she felt the world wasn’t collapsing around her anymore, and instead, time had just stopped moving altogether. And then she opened her eyes, which stung from all the crying, and looked up at Captain Holt from her place on the ground. She could feel Terry’s hand rubbing soft circles in her back, which she appreciated. She focused all her energy on his hand and the way it felt, the way it soothed and calmed her. 

Captain Holt looked sick with worry. He reached out and tenderly helped Amy to her feet, and without a word he and Terry slowly walked a shaking, quivering Amy into Holt’s office. 

Amy sat down on the couch, next to wear Boyle was sat, and leaned a head on his shoulder. Charles immediately leaned back into her. Rosa, Holt and Terry sat in seats around the room, and everything went silent. 

Amy broke the silence after a long five minutes of thinking. “Why?” She croaked out, quieter than she had expected. “Why would he do this to me? To us?” 

“Because he’s a damn good cop, Santiago,” Rosa said, laughing but somehow without any humour in her voice, “that’s why.” 

Boyle nodded from beside Amy. “Jake is the best detective that has ever lived. Ever.” 

Terry nodded in agreement, smiling weakly at Amy. 

“Peralta is one of the best police officer I have ever worked with, Santiago. You are lucky to have him.” Captain Holt deadpanned, his eyes still filled with a kind of terror and pain that Amy had never seen in him before. 

“What if something happens to him?” Amy sobbed, rubbing at her wet eyes. 

The room fell silent again, with no one really knowing how to answer Amy’s question. And Amy understood, because she knew none of them really knew what they would do if something happened to Jake. Charles would’ve lost his best friend, his favourite person in the world. Rosa would have lost her friend from the Police Academy, her drinking-in-silence-buddy. Terry would’ve lost his best detective and one of his best friends. Captain Holt would have lost his son, his child. Gina, who Amy knew she would have to call eventually today, would’ve lost her oldest friend, her brother. And Amy would have lost her husband, the father of her child, the love of her life, her world.

Jake really was her world, as much as she hated to admit it sometimes and as much as she wanted to be an independent lady at times. She relied on him. He was her biggest fan, her favourite cheerleader, someone who would sing her praises the loudest out of anyone but wasn’t afraid to call her out when her behaviour was inappropriate. He loved her, fiercely and unrelentingly. He cared about her and he showed it, every single moment of every single day. He was immature and childlike and, at times, ridiculous, but Amy loved all of those things about him. Jake was her world, along with their tiny unborn baby. 

Tears began to roll down Amy’s cheeks once again. How could she bring this baby in to the world if their was a chance it would never meet Jake? 

But she had to think positively. She had to believe that Jake was coming home, that he would get to see his daughter being born and be there for the rest of Amy’s life. And Rosa was right - Jake was a damn good cop. If anyone could do this, it was him. He was strong and loyal and intelligent. But stupid, so stupid for taking this risk. 

The worst thing about the whole situation was that Amy knew, if the roles were reversed, she would’ve done the exact same thing as Jake. 

That’s what being a cop was to Amy, and apparently to Jake as well. Taking risks. Not always knowing. Saving people above saving yourself, no matter the personal costs.

Amy looked around the room at all of the amazing people she had in her life. All of these people would undoubtably trust Jake with their lives, including her. So she had to believe in him, had to trust him with his own life. 

“How long has it been?” Amy asked quietly, after waiting what felt like an eternity in silence. Somehow, her hand had found its way to Boyle’s, and their fingers were now locked together in a friendly, comforting grip. 

“One hour,” Captain Holt replies. His lip was quivering and he was nervously tapping his leg. Amy thought this was the most anxious she had ever seen her Captain. 

“I’m sure we’ll know soon,” Terry said from across the room, sounding as though the lump in his throat was still there. 

Amy hoped so. Oh god, she hoped so. The wait seemed to last forever. 

======

The wait seemed to last forever. The time between when Jake arrived at the school, flashed his badge and was told there was no more protective equipment, that if he was going to go in there it was at his risk (at which he silently apologised to Amy and nodded his head in agreement), and the time when they finally ushered him inside (along with the only other five officers in the area brave enough to show up) seemed to last forever. Jake was nervous. God, he was nervous, and he could think about was Amy and their baby. But the thumping in his chest and the adrenaline in his body carried him inside and down the long hallway.

It was funny, school hallways had never been Jake’s favourite place in the world, but now they had a whole new meaning, a whole new creepiness. The bright lights were still on in the hall, lighting everything up in an unnatural, almost grotesque way. 

Jake and the five other police officers (two women and three men) silently signalled to each other that it was a good idea to split up, which Jake knew from watching TV was not true, but it was the best way that they had to try and find the armed shooter inside the school. He knew gunshots had been fired already, knew people were probably already injured, or worse, dead, but he had to push past that. He had to think about the others he could help, the teachers and the elementary kids. 

He tried to steady his hands as he walked down the hall quietly and slowly, trying to keep his gun pointed straight out in front of him. Every second that past felt like a hundred. He was beginning to think he’d just be walking down this hallway forever, stuck in this strange time vortex, when he heard a noise to his right. He whipped his head around, noticing that the noise was coming from the school library, and slowly walked towards it. 

Jake presser his ear against the wood of the door. He could hear crying, muffled whimpers, but nothing else. Someone must be hurt, or at the very least, terrified. He gently pushed open the door and walked inside. 

At first, he saw nothing. And then his eyes followed a stream of blood across the giraffe-patterned-carpet, and a shiver ran down his spine. 

It wasn’t like Jake had never seen a dead body before. He had. In fact, he’d seen lots of them, close up and from far away. But Jake wasn’t sure he’d ever seen a body this fresh, so newly-deceased, the blood circling them still fresh and bright-red. 

Jake whimpered quietly at the sight of the dead, elderly librarian, mangled on the carpet, a gunshot through her stomach and another through her head. He swallowed, thinking up ways he could still help her, and then he froze.

Slowly, Jake turned around. The shooter could still be in this room, hiding, watching. He began to stalk slowly around the many bookshelves, his whole body trembling, his finger propped neatly on the trigger of his handgun. 

Then, from one of the isles, “Help me.”

Jake turned his body quickly, taking in the sight of a small, delicate girl, who couldn’t be much older than four. Her blonde hair was in two braids at each side of her head, her big, blue eyes pooling with tears, her face all scrunched up in shock and pain. 

“Help me,” she sobbed again. “Please.”

“Hi, sweetie,” Jake whispered quietly, lowering his gun. “It’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you. I’m a police officer. My name’s Jake, I’m here to help.” 

The little girl nodded, rubbing at her tear filled eyes and releasing another strangled sob. 

“What’s your name?” Jake asked, taking a step towards her so slowly that she probably wouldn’t have even noticed.

“Alice,” the little girl said in the same high-pitched, sweet voice.

“Hi, Alice. It’s good to meet you.” Jake replied reassuringly, reaching his hand out towards Alice. “Take my hand. I’m going to get you out of here.” 

Alice looked at him, tilting her head to the side. “My mommy and daddy said I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.” 

Jake laughed thickly. “Your mommy and daddy sound really smart. But I’m not a stranger, okay? You can trust me. Pinky swear.” Jake extended his pinky finger, inviting her to wrap her own round it in a promise. 

The small girl narrowed her eyes at Jake, as if pondering her options. Jake couldn’t help but look at the clock in the corner, worried about time and about what the shooter could be doing that very moment. Finally, after what felt like hours, Alice wrapped her pinky finger round Jake’s and nodded, as if she was sure of her decision. 

“Okay,” she said, her voice trembling, and took Jake’s hand in her own, tiny own. 

Jake felt his heart explode a million times over, despite the circumstances. He squeezed Alice’s hand reassuringly, and for a second he closed his eyes, and imagined that this was his own daughters hand. He and Amy hadn’t decided on a name yet, but he could see her now, long, dark hair just like Amy’s, eyes like his own. He felt hope for the first time since he made the decision to come here, to risk his life, and he knew it was because of Alice. 

“Let’s get out of here,” Jake said. Alice was a civilian, so he would get her out of the building before going back in on his own. He didn’t want to risk her life.

The two of them were just leaving the library when Jake heard commotion coming from a room further up the hall. He could hear tables moving around and hushed voices, and his heart dropped. The shooter must be in there and none of the other officers had come this way. 

He looked between the door to the other room and Alice. He knew that he had to help, that he couldn’t leave those other people to be hurt, couldn’t let them die because he was escorting a little girl he had grown fond of out of the school. And he knew if he showed Alice exactly where to hide, she’d listen, she wouldn’t leave. And so he made his decision. 

“Alice?” Jake said, turning to look the little girl in her eyes and stooping to her level, still holding onto her tiny hand. “I need you to do something for me.” “What is it?” Alice asked, tilting her little blonde head to the side in confusion. Jake led her back into the library and over to the corner with beanbags. “I need you to hide in here for me. I promise I’ll come back, okay?” “No, I don’t want to,” Alice said quietly, shaking her head as her eyes filled with tears again. Jake felt his own eyes fill with tears. He desperately wanted to take little Alice with him, to get her out of there, but he had to help as many people as he could. It was his job, his purpose in life. “I promise you, you will be fine. I’ll come straight back for you and I’ll get you home to your mommy and daddy, okay?”

Alice’s eyes were filled with admiration and trust when she nodded at Jake. Jake smiled slightly at her, again imagining her as his own daughter, with Amy’s good looks and intelligence and Jake’s sense of humour. He tucked the little girl into the beanbag corner, making sure she was out of eye line. As he was about to leave, she grabbed onto the bottom of his shirt, holding her other hand out. 

“Pinky promise?” 

Jake’s eyes filled with tears again and he nodded, pinky promising the little girl once again, before leaving the room. 

He made off quickly down the hall and pressed his ear up to the classroom door. He could still hear commotion, and he was convinced the shooter must be inside, so he slammed the door open and held his gun out. 

“NYPD! Drop your weapons!” He shouted as loudly as he could, sure he was about to see the shooter on the other side of the door.

But he wasn’t. 

Thirty little, round faces stared up at him from the other side of a poorly made barricade, and a trembling teacher widened her eyes from the corner of the room.

“He isn’t here?” Jake said, wrinkling his eyebrows together. He was confused, he was sure the shooter was in here, sure he had him. 

“No!” The teacher cried worriedly, looking at Jake with concern. 

“What was all the noise then?” Jake said quietly, his voice shaking as he did. 

“We were making a barricade,” the teacher sighed, a pupil snuggling themselves into her side.

Jake froze on the spot. If the shooter wasn’t here, then where was he? 

“Alice,” Jake whispered, his heart sinking to his stomach. 

He turned around and began swiftly sprinting down the hallway. He had left her alone in there, with no protection and nothing to shield herself with. He had left her, and now he didn’t know what might happen to her. 

Jake burst into the library. “Alice!” He called loudly when he saw she wasn’t in her place next to the beanbags.

“Jake?” Came her whimpered response. 

“Alice!” Jake sobbed again, making his way towards the noise.

When he saw her, he saw her little body standing upright, the tears rolling down her red cheeks and her tiny braids ruffled and messy. What Jake didn’t see right away, was the man to the right of her, holding a gun pointed at her.

“Alice!” Jake screamed, lunging towards her as fast as he could. The only thing he could focus on was the child, the child who had now morphed into a tiny version of Amy, with a childlike smile just like Jake’s and an attention for detail unlike any other kid out there. All he knew was he had to save her, had to help her, had to get there in time. 

His eyes met with those of the armed shooter, and- 

Bang.


	11. The Wait is Over

It felt a whole day had passed by the time the Captain’s phone rang again, but really Amy knew it had only been three-hours-and-fourteen-minutes. She had fallen asleep for a little while, and when she woke up she was sandwiched between Rosa and Boyle, who were both comfortably napping on the couch. Amy wanted to wake them and ask them if there had been any news but then she saw their tear-stained cheeks and knew it was best to leave them alone. Terry had been sleeping too, but Holt was awake. Both of them pretended to think the other was asleep, which Amy was glad of. She didn’t exactly feel like talking. 

But now everyone was awake and Captain Holt’s phone was ringing. He stopped pacing the office and lunged for it, while the others waited with baited breath. Amy’s hand found Rosa’s and she grabbed it tight. Surprisingly, Rosa gave her a reassuring squeeze, which usually would be enough for Amy to relax, but today was different.

Amy felt like throwing up the contents of her stomach. She felt like her whole body was too hot and too cold at the same time, like her life was on the line, because it and was, or at least her life as she knew it. Her stomach found her belly once again and she squeezed her eyes shut, just listening. 

“Hello?” Captain Holt voice was filled with hope and desperation and despair all at the same time. “Okay... Yes. How is- okay.” Amy opened her eyes as Captain Holt put the phone down. 

She jumped to her feet, leaving Rosa’s hand behind. “Is he okay?” She asked, tears filling her eyes again. Captain Holt remained silent. “Is he... is he gone?” 

“We have been asked for at the hospital,” Holt replied calmly, though there was still a wobble in his voice. 

“They didn’t...?” Amy began.

“They didn’t tell me anything about Peralta. I’m sorry, Santiago.” Captain Holt said sadly, looking down at the ground. 

If it was possible, Amy felt worse than she had before. This was worse than not knowing, not hearing from anyone. Now, she had to walk into this hospital, not knowing if Jake had called for the squad himself or if it had been his bereaved parents. 

“We have to go. Now.” Amy said, straightening her sergeants uniform out and heading for the door. 

The team followed her to the elevator, with Captain Holt lagging behind to (unfortunately) leave Scully and Hitchcock in charge. Amy felt Rosa’s hand on her shoulder the whole way down, heard Boyle’s muffled sobs. But Amy felt strangely detached, as if she was having an out-of-body-experience. 

When all five of them had reached the outside of the building, the piled into a taxi. Amy could hear Terry on the phone with Gina who, up until this point, had been blissfully unaware of what was going on. She could hear Rosa nervously grinding her teeth to stop herself from crying. She could hear Charles’ sobs continuing, muffled now by his hands. She could hear Captain Holt muttering something under his breath. It was all too much for Amy. Too much. She thought she was having some kind of sensory overload, but she didn’t care, she just couldn’t handle it anymore.

“SHUT! UP!” She screamed at the top of her lungs, causing the driver to swerve the car in shock. “SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!”

Amy heard Terry take his attention away from his call with Gina to apologise to driver and briefly explain the situation. She placed her head in her hands and sighed, the silence in the car now deafening. 

She had been thinking about it all day, but she still hadn’t thought up an answer of what she would do if Jake was dead, how she would cope. She didn’t know how she would be a single mother, she didn’t know how she would become Captain one day, but above all else, she didn’t know how she could continue living without him. And the worst thing was that she had to, because she was pregnant and she couldn’t leave their little girl without any parents. Dead or alive, Jake would never forgive her for that. 

All Amy could do was pray that Jake would be okay, that he would still be alive, at least long enough for her to say goodbye. 

======

When they arrived at the hospital, Captain Holt asked about Jake at the front desk, and Amy overheard the receptionist tell them to go to the seventh floor. She headed for stairs, thinking it would be slower and it would give her time to think, but she felt a hand on her shoulder and voice coming from behind her. 

“Amy, you shouldn’t take the stairs. In case you haven’t realised, you’re well and truly preggers.” Gina said in a surprisingly soft tone.

“Gina,” Amy sighed, for some reason relieved by her presence. Gina could be mean and sarcastic at the best of times, but all that aside she was a really supportive, good friend, and Amy really appreciated her, though she hadn’t spent much time with her since she’d left the Nine Nine. 

“I’m here, my baby,” Gina said, beckoning Amy in for a huge, which Amy obliged. Gina squeezed her hard then held her at arms length. “How is Jake?” 

Amy bit her lip. “I don’t know yet... none of us do.” Her stomach churned nervously. 

They were interrupted by Boyle calling them over to the elevator in an urgent tone. Amy knew Charles was worried, but she wished he understood that whatever he was feeling, she was feeling a hundred times worse. Nevertheless, Amy and Gina made their way to the elevator and the six of them took the elevator up to the seventh floor. 

Part of Amy wished the journey would last forever, and the other part of her wished it was over already. She just wanted Jake. But what if Jake wasn’t Jake anymore, what if he was just a shell? What if Jake wasn’t alive anymore? She shuddered at the thought, just as she’d done a million times that day. 

When they reached the seventh floor, Amy spotted Karen Peralta straight away. Amy figured that Roger was probably out being a pilot, but a part of her still felt angry at he wasn’t here, even if he could be twelve-hours-away right now. 

“Amy!” Karen cried as soon as her eyes met the younger woman’s.

Amy forced a smile and walked towards her mother-in-law with her arms outstretched, hugging her quickly. “Do you know...” Amy tried to find the words, tried to talk through the lump in her throat and blink away her tears. “Is he... is he alive?” 

“He’s okay, sweetheart,” Karen said sympathetically.

Amy felt her heart swell, felt her whole body relax and her world began spinning again. The room turned from black and white to colour, the sun seeming to shine brighter through the window than it had a few seconds prior. She felt relief, she felt happiness, she felt love. Jake was okay. And that’s all that mattered. Amy’s hand found her large bump again. 

“Oh, thank God,” she sobbed, feeling like her legs might give out beneath her. She hadn’t noticed until just then, but she had been clutching Karen’s arm, tightly as well, though Karen didn’t seem to mind. Amy released her grip quickly. “I have to see him.” 

Karen nodded. “I know.” She took Amy by the arm and led her to the waiting room seats where they both sat side by side. Amy looked around to see that the rest of the squad had taken seats around the room too. 

Amy and Karen fell into silence. It wasn’t like Amy didn’t like her mother-in-law. She really loved her, but now wasn’t the time for talking. Amy felt such a mixture of emotions, relief was prevalent but she was still concerned. It would be unrealistic to assume Jake had gotten out unscathed, both physically and mentally. Amy knew that someone couldn’t experience something as horrific as what her husband had and not suffer psychologically. 

Time seemed to be moving normally again. It was about five minutes before a nurse walked into the waiting room, and Amy jumped to her feet. 

“Are you Mrs Peralta?” The Nurse asked with a kind smile. Amy was confused for a second, looking at Karen, before she realised she and Jake were married. “Mr Peralta’s wife?” The nurse clarified. 

Amy brushed off the urge to correct her surname to her own and nodded slowly. “Yes. I am.” Amy could tell everyone was waiting behind her with baited breathe because she couldn’t hear any noise at all coming from the small waiting room. 

“You can come with me,” the nurse said with a nod. He led Amy through the hallway and into a room with five hospital beds. Only one of them had the curtain drawn shut, so Amy looked at the nurse for permission before brisk walking over to it. 

Amy pulled the curtain aside, desperate to see Jake, to hold him and to tell him she loved him and that she was so happy he was okay. The first thing she saw when the curtain was out of the way was Jake flinching at the sudden movement, recoiling backwards. 

This wasn’t what Amy had expected.

She didn’t know what she had expected. She knew he might be injured, or ill. She knew he might be sad for a while, for a long time. But she didn’t think he would look this... different, after one day. She didn’t expect the dark circles under his eyes or the paleness of his skin. She didn’t expect his body to look so tense or his face to look so fearful. 

“Jake,” Amy breathed, a tear rolling down her cheek. 

Jake’s head snapped up to look at her, and he smiled just the tiniest bit. “Ames,” he whispered, his voice thick with tears, and he reached up and pulled her into a hug. 

For Jake, Amy felt like a safe haven. She was his home, his place of security. She made him feel loved and she made his feelings seem important. While she was squeezing him tightly, it was as if everything melted away, as if nothing else in the world mattered. As if that day had been completely normal and Jake was completely fine. But there was still that niggling. That awful memory in the back of his mind. 

“Are you hurt?” Amy asked quietly, not letting go of him. She never wanted to let go of him, now that he was here with her and she knew what it was like to almost lose him. 

Jake just shook his head against her shoulder, tears pooling on her lemon-yellow blouse. He couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t pull himself together. His hand found Amy’s stomach and he felt relieved and a little better when he found the bump. “Is she okay?” 

Amy finally pulled away from Jake’s hug (though making sure to still keep one hand on him) and looked down at where his hand rested on her bump. “The baby?” 

“Yeah,” Jake breathed, not meeting Amy’s eyes quite yet. He couldn’t face her, couldn’t tell her how he had failed, how he would fail his own little girl too. 

“We’re okay,” Amy said with a nod as she brushed some of Jake’s hair out of his eyes. She didn’t bother to ask him if he was okay. She knew he wasn’t. 

“I...” Jake trailed off, letting out a strangled sob. “I lost her.” 

“Lost who?” Amy asked worriedly, sitting herself down on the edge of the hospital bed beside Jake. His arms were covered in fresh bruises, and she wished she could place a kiss on every single one of them and make them all go away. 

“Alice. The little girl. She’s dead,” Jake wailed, his face wet with tears. “It’s my fault.” He looked up, letting his pained eyes meet with Amy’s for the first time. 

Amy shook her head quickly. “This isn’t your fault. None of this is your fault, Jake.” 

“It’s my fault,” Jake sobbed again, throwing himself into Amy’s arms again. He didn’t deserve this, didn’t deserve Amy’s warmth, but he would take what she could give. 

Amy continually reassured Jake that it wasn’t his fault, but she didn’t know the story, didn’t know how he had failed. Jake knew it was his fault, and he couldn’t stop replaying it in his head, over and over and over again. 

======

\- Two hours earlier - 

Bang. 

Jake released a blood curdling scream. He didn’t even know where it came from. Somewhere deep inside him, somewhere feral, someplace he couldn’t control. He gagged, feeling like he might throw up, as he watched her lifeless body flop to the floor. 

Little Alice lay there, completely still. She almost looked peaceful, save for the bullet through her skull. 

There are two kinds of people in this world, and it all comes down to the fight or flight response. There are people who run, and there are people who fight. Jake had always known he was a fighter, but even he was surprised at how quickly he made the decision to lunge at the shooter. 

The shooter was taller than Jake by maybe three inches, but Jake knew how to use this advantage. Jake dived into his mid-region, anger and repulsion coursing through his veins. 

He knew what school-shooters did. He knew what this awful man was going to try to do now that he had been captured by an officer, and Jake couldn’t allow it. This murderer had to face his sentence, for Alice, for the librarian, for whoever else had been killed that day. 

Jake’s hand connected with the shotgun, trying to pry it from the younger mans hands. The thought crossed his mind that this was not very responsible, that Amy would kill him, that he should be thinking about his own kid, but he had betrayed Alice. He had promised her he’d get her out of there, and he didn’t. This was his fault and he had to make it right. 

With all his might, Jake heaved the shotgun away from the shooter, and pinned him down. He looked to the side, looked desperately for something to handcuff the man to, tried not to see Alice’s body, right there in front of him, when there was an almighty bang and Jake’s ears started to ring. 

Jake stood up and stumbled backwards. 

The shooter had found Jake’s gun. Jake’s handgun, that should’ve been in his holster, that should’ve never been accessed by anyone else. And he had shot himself. And now he was dead and he would never pay the price of what he had done that day, and it was all Jake’s fault.

After that, Jake thought he might’ve blacked out for a while, because he didn’t really remember stumbling through the school hallways or out into the car park with his hands up. He doesn’t remember falling to his knees and sobbing wildly, or being consoled by a sergeant who knew what it was like to be in this position. He doesn’t remember the journey to the hospital and he doesn’t remember asking for Amy. 

The whole time, all he can think about is Alice’s parents, and how they must feel, and how it was completely, unarguably, his fault.


	12. The Aftermath

Amy wasn’t sure she would ever sleep properly again. 

Jake had fallen asleep almost immediately after they had gotten home. He was so exhausted, and Amy understood why, so she helped him to bed, got him into some comfortable pyjamas and climbed in next to him. He floated off to sleep, clinging onto her arm, while she stared at the clock, one hand clutching Jake’s and the other sat atop her large stomach. 

She thought about what would’ve happened if Jake had come back to the precinct with Charles, if he hadn’t stayed behind to talk to the victims family. They would’ve been in the precinct together, would’ve watched the story develop on the news and probably would’ve cried together when the casualties were announced (eleven, by the way - much more than Amy had even dared to consider), and fretted over whether or not to homeschool their own daughter. 

But instead she was stuck at the precinct, so far away from Jake and unable to help anyway due to the life forming in her stomach. She had already been feeling useless for the past six-months, but now she felt even worse. She wished Jake had come back to the precinct with Charles, she wished with all her might but she couldn’t go back and change it. 

Amy glanced over at Jake, and a small smile crept onto her face at his open-mouthed, drooling face. Although what had happened was awful and Amy wished Jake hadn’t gone through it at all, she was so proud of him. He was an amazing cop, and though she still hadn’t heard the full story from him, she knew that whatever he had kept saying was his fault definitely wasn’t. He was so good, so kind, he would never hurt anyone. 

“Your mommy and daddy love you so much,” Amy whispered into the night almost inaudible, stroking her belly gently. 

She was shocked to feel a pressure on her hand, a kind of pressing on her stomach. Her eyes focused in on her belly and she pulled her pyjama shirt up over it, in time to see little indentations where the baby was moving around. 

“Jake!” Amy whisper-shouted, shaking Jake gently. 

Jake jolted awake, sitting upright, a terrified look on his face. He gripped Amy harder. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” 

Amy bit her lip in sympathy, feeling bad for momentarily forgetting Jake’s state of mind. She shook her head. “I’m okay, sorry. I didn’t mean to... to scare you. It’s just... the baby’s kicking.” 

Jake gawped at Amy’s stomach before looking back up at her. “What?” He asked, a tinge of excitement in his voice. “You’re kidding!” 

“No!” Amy giggled, grabbing Jake’s large hand and placing it on her belly. 

A smile crept its way onto Jake’s face as he waited to feel the kick of his child for the first time. After such an awful day, he was so happy to be back with his wife and unborn baby, and maybe this would make today just a little better. 

Just as he was starting to become disappointed, he felt it, and it was like fireworks went off behind his eyes.

It was like the earth clicked into place and the universe was right again. It was like everything bad that had ever happened to him melted away because here we was, still alive, still here, with the most beautiful wife he could ever have hoped for, and he was about to become a father. His life couldn’t get any better, and although sometimes he screwed things up, the world clearly didn’t hate him for it. 

“This is... amazing,” Jake said, completely in awe of his wife’s body. “Wow.” 

Amy giggled at Jake with tears in her eyes as she watched him grinning and looking between her stomach and her eyes. “I know, babe.”

“Ames, this is amazing. You’re amazing.” Jake said quietly as the baby stilled once again. He pulled Amy in for a long kiss, his hand tangling in her dark, smooth hair.

“I love you so much, Jake,” Amy said, brushing her hand over her husbands cheek. “Whatever happened today, I want you to know you can talk to me about it.” 

Jake sighed, breaking eye contact with Amy. On one hand, he didn’t want her to know, didn’t want her to hate him or stop trusting him with baby. But on the other hand, Jake knew Amy would understood and would never hate him, and he loved her and wanted to share everything with her. 

Jake nodded slowly, and began to tell the story for the first time.

======

The nightmares started a few nights later. Jake had been given a week off of work curtesy of Captain Holt (Jake hadn’t argued much when Holt has suggested it), and Amy had requested some time off too, which the Captain had been fine with. It was during this time off that Jake started waking up screaming, his face wet with tears and his body quivering.

Amy hadn’t been sleeping well at all to begin with, what with being six-and-half-months pregnant with a baby that was quite fond of lying directly on top of her bladder, but now she was barely getting any sleep at all. She found herself lying awake at night in anticipation of Jake waking up, worrying about what terror he was dreaming about at that very moment. 

Although Amy was sleep deprived and knew she would find it difficult to function when they both had to return to work, she was able to easily forgive Jake for keeping her awake. He had been through such an awful, traumatic experience, and Amy would understand if he never slept through an entire night again. 

Jake, on the other hand, felt guilty. He felt guilty for what he felt was abandoning Amy in the first place, going to the school when he didn’t know if he would even survive. He felt guilty for what happened that day, for the fate that befell little Alice. And he felt guilty, because he knew he would fail his own daughter too. He already loved he and Amy’s child with every ounce of himself, but he knew now for sure that he’d be no good as a father. 

He contemplated talking to Amy about this but he felt guilty about that as well. He knew she was worried about them and that she wasn’t getting much sleep. Because of him. She was growing a human inside her, for God’s sake. Jake would never forgive himself for what he’d done to her, to them both, to their baby. 

And the nightmares. The awful nightmares. They were worse than anything Jake had ever experienced. He didn’t know quite how he survived each night. It had started off as just reliving memories, of seeing the dead librarian and watching Alice die. But the dreams soon morphed. First to sitting at home, greyer and older, with Amy while they clutched each other and watched the TV for updates on the school shooting where their own little girl was at that very moment. And then it was Jake, in a cold dark room, and a little girl who looked just like Amy was in the centre, the barrel of a gun pressed to her temple, and she was screaming out for Jake, shouting for her daddy, and Jake tried to get to her but there was an invisible blockade between them and he couldn’t get there in time, and- 

All Jake knew was he couldn’t take much more. And he couldn’t put Amy through anymore of it either.

======

Amy had to go back to work earlier than Jake. Not on Captain Holt’s command, but because her team had turned to chaos while she’d been away and she knew it wasn’t fair to take anymore time off. She worried about Jake, knew she would never stop worrying about Jake now (not for a long time anyways), but she went back anyway. 

Her first day back at work was surprisingly uneventful, and when she arrived home, she was ready to tell Jake all about it and to make him aware of how much everyone was missing him. 

But when she got there, there was noise coming from the tiny study off to the right of their sleeping room.

Amy thought this was a little odd as they were moving apartments as soon as their current one sold, which meant they weren’t really planning on redecorating the rooms at all now. She thought he might have been packing up some old things for moving, so she followed the noise through. 

Jake was placing down a mattress on the floor with a warm blanket and pillow on top, as if getting ready to go to sleep. 

“Jake?” Amy said, confused. “What the-“ 

“I have to start sleeping through here, Amy,” Jake said, spinning round to look at her with a sort of crazed look on his face. 

“What?” Amy asked, feeling slightly hurt. She loved having Jake next to her at night, it made her feel safe and secure. 

Jake sighed sadly. “It’s not fair on you. Or the baby. I keep you up at night and-“ 

“No, Jake,” Amy said firmly, shaking her head and taking a step towards him. “You’re not sleeping through here. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Ridiculous?” Jake said, his head shooting up so he could stare at Amy. “You’re kidding, right? I wake up every night screaming, and you think it’s ridiculous for me to want to sleep away from my heavily pregnant wife.” 

“Don’t I make you feel safe?” Amy asked, reaching out for Jake.

“Nothing makes me feel safe!” Jake snapped. He lowered his voice. “Not anymore.” 

Amy took at a step back at his sharp tone. She wasn’t scared of Jake, she knew he would never do anything to hurt her, but she knew how fragile he was right now. And deep down, even if she felt silly for feeling it, she was hurt that he was lashing out at her. “I’m sorry you feel that way, Jake,” Amy said, sounding more annoyed than she had meant to. 

It wasn’t that Amy didn’t understand, it wasn’t that she didn’t feel awful for Jake. She’d do anything to make him feel better. But she hadn’t been there, so she didn’t know what it was like, and he wasn’t exactly quick to explain things to her with regards to this. She had always trusted Jake one-hundred-percent, so when he hid things from her it made her feel like he didn’t trust her back. 

“Oh my God, I-“ Jake growled, before stopping himself and taking a long breath. “I need a drink.” 

Amy opened her mouth to speak but Jake was already out of the room, heading towards the apartment door. She thought about stopping him, she willed her feet to move, but they wouldn’t. Because she knew Jake just needed time, he needed space. 

So after he’d gone and she’d given herself time to process their fight, she sat down on the couch with a tub of ice cream and watched reality TV for the night. 

======

Jake called Rosa on his way to the bar. She was his drinking buddy back in the Academy and she was still the first person who popped into his mind when he wanted to get beer with a friend. 

14/11/21 : 10:52PM 

Jake Peralta: 

*Had a fight with Amy, u wanna get beers at Shaws?* 

As much as she pretended to be cold and callous at all times, Rosa was actually a great friend. She had good advice, could be kind when she wanted to be and always called Jake out when he was being a dick, which is kind of why he asked her to come that night. 

14/11/21 : 10:55PM 

Rosa Diaz: 

*Sure. C U there in 5*

It was cold and wet outside on that November night, but Jake walked instead of taking a cab. He felt awful for arguing with Amy, but he just felt like she didn’t understand. No one did. Not really. And he felt awful, because he was a bad cop and a bad husband and a bad father. It’s not like he wanted to sleep without Amy next to him, he hated it, but it had to be done. 

Jake thought back to his time in prison, when he’d gone so long without seeing Amy and hadn’t been able to hold her through the night. Tears sprung to his eyes at the thought. 

He understood a little. Understood why Amy was upset. Jake was putting up barriers, and Amy must’ve been wondering why, he knew that. But he couldn’t tell her it was so she didn’t get hurt, so she didn’t feel all of his pain and so she didn’t get her hopes up about him being a decent father. Because he never would be. He was useless, just like his father before him. 

He had to protect Amy. He was sure Rosa would feel the same way. In Jake’s mind, this was irrefutably the right thing to do. 

When Jake arrived at Shaw’s, Rosa was already sat on a stool next to the bar. Jake threw his hands up in the air theatrically. “How the hell do you always get here so quickly? Where do you live!?” 

Rosa swivelled round to look at him and smirked. “If I told you I’d have to kill you.” 

“That might not be too much of a bad thing right now,” Jake grumbled, taking a seat next to Rosa at the bar and ordering a beer from himself.

Rosa took a swig of her own beer. “So what did you say to Amy?” 

“The fight literally wasn’t my fault, Rosa,” Jake said. “I’m just trying to protect her. I need to put distance between myself and her before the baby’s born, so I don’t hurt them both.” 

Rosa snort-laughed. “You’re such a moron.”

Jake rolled his eyes, exasperated. “I thought you of all people would understand.” He paused. “I’m a crappy husband, okay? I’m a crappy cop. I’ll be a crappy father, too.” 

“You’re not serious?” Rosa asked, raising her eyebrows at Jake. Jake nodded at her. “Wow, Jake. You’re completely clueless. Amy loves you. She’s worried about you. We all are.” 

“Well, I’m fine,” Jake snapped, then sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and pointer finger. “Look, all I’m saying is that you don’t have to worry about me. None of you do, Amy included. I’m fine.” 

“Jake, you’ve gone through so many life-changing experiences since you got with Amy, and this is probably the worst one yet. You need to admit that you need help, and you need to let Amy help you.” Rosa said all of this very sternly. 

Jake sighed. “I don’t want to scare her away. I don’t want her to get sick of me.”

Rosa shook her head. “I don’t think you could do anything to scare her away at this point Jake. She’s had sex with you, right?”

Jake laughed lightly. “I probably need to see a therapist, right?” 

“Definitely, dude.”

Rosa and Jake finished their beers off and Jake promised he would apologise to Amy when he got home and accept her help in future. He walked home in the cold again, and took his shoes off when he got through the door before creeping quietly through to the darkened bedroom. 

Amy turned over in bed, clearly still awake. “You’re home,” she stated quietly, reaching out for Jake. 

“Yeah, I am,” Jake whispered, slipping into bed beside her. “I’m sorry, Ames.” He pressed a long kiss to his wife’s lips. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too,” Amy said, still looking worried. “Where did you go?” 

“I spent some time with Rosa,” Jake replied, laying down on the bed with Amy’s head on his chest. “I’m going to make a therapy appointment tomorrow.” 

“You are?” Amy said, hopefulness and confusion lacing her voice. Jake nodded. “I’m proud of you.”

Jake kissed Amy on the forehead lightly, holding her closer even still. 

And that was the first nightmare free sleep Jake and Amy had had in four nights.


	13. The Baby Shower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! 
> 
> I feel like this chapter isn’t really that great so sorry about that :(( 
> 
> On the upside, I already have a sequel planned for this story which I really hope you guys will all read and enjoy! 
> 
> Please enjoy the chapter! :))

It took a while, but things slowly got a little better for Jake. He was put on desk duty at work, which he was okay with because he knew he wasn’t ready to go back into the field quite yet and it meant he got to spend every lunch at work with Amy. He attended therapy, and he talked about his experience and how afraid he had been, and the little girl and how she had contributed to his fears of becoming a father to his own little girl, and he spoke a bit about his dad and about how he was worried he would turn out like him. And great advice aside, it was nice to just talk to the therapist, to just get everything out in the open. 

Jake realised the importance of sharing everything with Amy, and Amy was grateful for it. She wanted to experience everything with Jake, including the bad parts. 

When Amy was almost seven months pregnant, their apartment finally sold and they were able to move into their new one. Jake decorated the entire apartment, much to the dismay of Amy, but he didn’t want her to tire herself out while she was so pregnant, because she was absolutely huge now, though he let her help with the babies room because she was so desperate to. She picked out a pretty lemon-yellow colour scheme which Jake was happy with because it meant he got to add little giraffes all around the room for their daughter to point out when she was a little older. 

It was the beginning of December and it was starting to get pretty cold outside when Amy mentioned her baby shower to Jake. 

“Do you think Rosa and Gina will throw me a baby shower?” She pondered from inside the shower while Jake brushed his teeth before work in the morning. 

“Definitely, babe!” Jake said confidently, but after he left the room he had to google what a baby shower actually was and then text Gina to make sure she was actually organising one. 

09/12/21 : 8:31AM 

Jake Peralta: 

Gina pls tell me u r throwing a baby shower for Ames!?!? 

09/12/21 : 8:33AM 

Gina Linetti: 

Obviously dufus

Jake relaxed a little after that, deleted his web history in case Amy accidentally came across the results for ‘what is a baby shower’ on Google and went about his day as normal.

======

Jake was getting sick and tired of desk duty already. He understood why Captain Holt had placed him there and he knew he wasn't ready to go back out into the field yet. It was just, Jake had been starting to feel better. He'd been using every trick in the book to distract himself when he was at home and Amy wasn't, and his weekly therapy sessions had really been helping. But now, after almost three weeks of paperwork and case files he wouldn't ever really be able to properly investigate and more paperwork, his mind couldn't help but wander. Wander back to that day at the school, and wander forward to how fatherhood would be for him. 

He didn't have nightmares every single night anymore, more like every three or four nights. And that was okay, because Jake knew they weren't real. He just had to breathe through them and try not to wake Amy up when he found the part of her body nearest to him and gripped onto it for dear life. He had been able to recognise the psychology behind how he was feeling and that had helped an awful lot, especially with his worries about becoming a parent.

But now, being so bored at his desk he thought he might die, he was no longer able to hold all his memories and thought back. They were no longer locked away in that box at the back of his mind, spewing out of his brain and into his thoughts as he tapped his pen against his desk repeatedly, trying desperately to focus on the paperwork laid out in front of him.

Jake was having a particularly bad day. He'd been back at work for almost three weeks, and Amy was almost seven months pregnant, and this was all driving him crazy. Would he never feel safe on the job again? Or would he be brave enough to venture back out onto the field like Terry? And did that make him a good father, or a bad one? 

The pressure in Jake's head was mounting, and he rubbed his temples rapidly, trying desperately to block out the noises of the hundreds of other detectives around him, until something in him just snapped. It was like a rubber band being stretched and stretched and stretched. Eventually, there were consequences to face. Jake stood up and kicked his desk as hard as he could, sending all of his paperwork plummeting to the ground.

He looked around him at all of the faces staring up at him with pity and sympathy, and suddenly he felt embarrassed. Embarrassed by what had happened to him, by how he was reacting, both then and now. 

"What are you all staring at? Get back to work!" Jake heard the booming voice coming from behind him and knew it was Captain Holt. "Peralta, a word, please?" Jake turned around to look at him and pleaded with him using his eyes. Captain Holt's expression hardened further. "My office, Peralta. Now."

Jake followed his Captain, hanging his head in shame. It was like being told off by your father. Or at least, that's what Jake guessed. His father never really cared enough about him to care what he did in the first place.

Captain Holt stood behind his desk and gestures for Jake to sit in the seat in front of it. Jake raised his eyebrows questioningly, but Holt merely stared at him unrelentingly, so Jake sighed, slammed the door and sat down in the seat in front of his Captain. 

“What can I do for you today, Cap?” Jake hadn’t meant for it to come out as cold and sarcastic as it had, but he wasn’t really mad at himself. He felt frustrated, frustrated with everything, including Holt. He knew Amy would be furious at him if she found out about how he had spoken to their Captain, and he knew he would regret this later, but in the moment, Jake didn’t really care.

Captain Holt stared at Jake with no emotions in his expression (as usual) and then slowly sat down in his chair. "Peralta." He said simply, raising his brows at Jake.

Jake rolled his eyes. "Sir?" He paused to look at his Captain, who stared back at him in a pressing matter. Jake sighed. "You know how much I hate being stuck in here."

Captain Holt leaned forward. "What you went through was life changing. It's okay to feel a little overwhelmed sometimes."

Jake could feel a lump forming in his throat, but now was not the time. He wasn't weak. He had to prove that. Everyone thought he was so weak. "I'm not overwhelmed," Jake muttered.

"Jake," Holt pressed quietly.

Jake's eyes were welling up with tears. The Captain never used his first name, not often anyway. "I'm fine," Jake began, before breaking down into tears, an act which seemed to shock him more than it shocked Holt. Jake leaned over the table, his head in his hands as sobs wracked his body. He felt a hand on his shoulder. 

"Let it out, Peralta. It's okay to feel."

Raymond Holt had taught Jake a lot of things since becoming his Captain over six years ago, but this may have been the most valuable to date. That it was okay to feel was a strange thing to hear from a man with no emotions (meep, morp), but Jake took it and ran with it. He used it that day to pick himself back up and go back to working quietly at his desk, and he didn't know it yet, but he'd use it thousands of times in the future too. He'd imagine Holt's voice ("It's okay to feel) when he woke up from a nightmare in the middle of the night, he'd imagine it when Amy gave birth to their tiny, perfect daughter, and he'd repeat it to all three of his children later in his life. For now, though, Jake was content with letting his emotions out in the safety of Captain Holt's office before he had to return to administration for the day.

======

Amy was seven months pregnant, and still there was no word about her baby shower. She was a little disappointed actually, with all of her friends. She thought for sure Gina would be into the idea of planning something overly extravagant, but Amy tried to remember not all of her friends were like her. She had to accept that not everyone was so organised, not everyone had been keeping a binder of baby name ideas since they were fifteen-years-old. 

Still though. that didn't stop Amy from feeling upset and a little angry. 

She was already feeling frustrated about it that day, and Rosa certainly didn't help the matter. 

It was the teams lunch break, and Amy and Jake were stood side-by-side at the vending machines in the break room. Amy was buying herself a can of sparkling water (about the only thing that didn't give her stomach cramps that she was honestly sure were worse than labour) when Rosa entered the room.

"Hey, Santiago?" Rosa said. "You aren't expecting us to throw a baby shower for you, right?"

Amy squeezed her eyes shut tight, not turning to face Rosa. "No," she deadpanned, reaching for her can of water.

"Good. Glad I don't have to deal with it," Rosa snorted. "Good luck, Jake."

Amy stood up straight and waited for Rosa to leave the room. When she did, Amy's pregnancy hormones overtook her and she threw her can across the room and into the wall, right above Scully's head, who looked at her like she was crazy. Amy released a feral shriek and stomped off to the bathroom, ignoring Jake's calls as he followed her.

======

After work, despite Amy's awful mood, Jake somehow managed to convince her to go out with him. She was tired, and her back ached, and she was still feeling annoyed at her friend, but she agreed because Jake never wanted to go out anymore and Amy wanted to encourage this behaviour. She had heard about her husbands weird behaviour in the bullpen a few weeks prior, and it had really worried her. It had been about six weeks at this point since the school shooting, and slowly but surely, Jake had seemed to be improving. He didn’t have nightmares every single night, and he seemed to be talking more and more about his happiness and excitement for the baby to arrive. 

So, in hopes of cheering Jake up a little, Amy gave in and agreed to go out with him. She used to the precinct bathroom to brush her hair back into a sleek ponytail and applied a little of Jake’s favourite lipstick colour on her before they left. 

“So, where are we going?” Amy asked Jake happily, her hand interlocked with his as he led her through the streets of Brooklyn. 

“It’s a surprise,” Jake grinned down at her and placed a kiss on her forehead. 

Amy held back the urge to ask Jake how he was feeling, ask him what had happened in the bullpen exactly, ask him what Captain Holt had said to him when he’d been pulled into his office. It was funny though, Amy thought, because Jake had actually seemed a little happier since what happened in the bullpen that day. Why, she wondered. 

Jake and Amy had only been walking through the cold winter streets of Brooklyn when it began to snow. Amy stopped where she was and looked around her in joy. She loved the snow, loved how it felt on her face when she looked up at the sky and closed her eyes. It was one of the most romantic things of earth, Amy thought, to be walking down a snowy street, her hand interlocked with the hand of the man she loved. 

“It’s almost Christmas!” Jake said excitedly, although he had only just remembered. Amy just giggled and leaned into him, waddling along the street with her body pressed into his. 

Jake stopped walking at the side of a cute, small bar, and gestures towards it with a smile on his face. 

Amy crossed her arms over her chest. “Seriously, Jake? You know I can’t have anything to drink.” 

“You’ll love it. Just trust me.” 

“But-“ 

“Trust. Me.” 

Amy sighed and relented, allowing Jake to lead her inside. She was feeling more and more frustrated by the second, until- 

“Surprise!” 

Amy jumped back in surprise, searching her empty pocket for her gun in reflex. Then she looked around her and saw lots of pretty pink decorations and banners and balloons, and teddy bears everywhere, and little princess tiaras. Amy’s eyes filled up with tears as she focused in on Gina, Rosa and Kylie in the centre of the room. 

“You guys!” She wailed, unable to hold her tears back anymore. 

“Oh my god, she’s crying,” Gina hissed to Rosa, who looked mortified. 

“You guys!” Amy repeated, running towards her friends and pulling them all into a tight hug. She pulled away and turned to Jake, wiping her tears off of her cheeks. “You knew about this?” 

Jake nodded, grinning as he looked at his heavily pregnant wife in awe. She really was so beautiful, and so sensitive. “Yeah,” he smiled. “Have fun, babe.” 

“You’re not staying?” Amy asked, tilting her head to the side. She knew it wasn’t customary to have men at your baby shower but she really felt like she wanted him there. She hated being away from him always, but especially now, after he was almost taken from her. 

Jake shook his head. “I’m going to meet Charles and Terry for some drinks. I thought maybe you’d want some girl time.” 

Amy bit her lip. “Could you come back... here? It’s okay if you don’t want to, I-“ 

Jake interrupted her with a smile. “I’d love that, Ames. I wanna be here.” He paused. “I’m sure Charles would love to be involved, too.” 

Amy laughed thickly and kissed Jake. She loved him, so much, and she knew he loved her, and she was happy here in the moment, forgetting all of their troubles and focusing on their future as parents.


	14. The Holidays

It wasn’t until Christmas Eve night, when Jake and Amy arrived at Captain Holt and Kevin’s beautiful home for a meal with the squad, that Amy realised this would be their last Christmas just the two of them.

Amy’s heart sunk to the bottom of her stomach as she thought about it. She watched Jake ring the doorbell, her stomach churning, and swallowed thickly. 

She hadn’t really thought about it before, but the baby was due at the beginning of February, and then it would never be just she and Jake anymore. They wouldn’t be just husband and wife anymore, they would be parents. They’d have responsibility over another humans life. She almost couldn’t believe it, but when she looked down at her stomach wrapped tightly in a warm winter jacket, she knew it was true. She felt nervous and excited all at once. 

Jake was thinking about exactly the same thing as he waited at his Captain’s front door, his freezing cold hands clutching a bottle of fancy wine that Amy had made him buy. He was so excited, so happy that this time next year, he’d be a father. This time next year he and Amy would be wrapping lots of tiny little toys for their daughter, trying to be quiet so as not to wake her up. And then Jake would dress up as Santa and tiptoe into her room to place her presents in her stocking, and he would be the best dad, better than anyone could imagine. 

The front door swung open to reveal both Holt and Kevin. Jake and Amy greeted the older couple with hugs and gifted them their bottle of wine, before Kevin brought Amy inside and rushed her through to the warmth of the family room. Jake lagged behind with Captain Holt. 

“I thought you knew better than to bring gifts with you, Peralta,” Captain Holt commented, but Jake was sure he could see a small smile on Holt’s lips. 

Jake held his hands up in surrender. “Hey, it was Amy’s fault. Hate her, not me.” 

Captain Holt placed a hand on Jake’s shoulder. “I agreed with Kevin not to discuss work tonight, but Peralta,” he paused, “if you feel ready to go back onto the field after the holiday period then I am happy for you to do so.” 

Jake smiled. “Thank you, sir.” He took a deep breath, steadying himself. “But... I think I need some more time.” 

Captain Holt looked surprised for a second, before nodding. “That is very mature of you, a Peralta.

Jake nodded in return. “Thank you, sir.”

Jake and Captain Holt entered the living room, and Jake felt his mouth hang slack as he looked around. The room was decorated from floor-to-ceiling in red and green and gold and silver, and there was a huge Christmas tree in the corner with gifts piled under it. 

“Wow,” Jake muttered, holding back a laugh as he looked around the very jolly home of his very stoic Captain. 

“Kevin loves Christmas.” Holt said simply, before heading over the bar to pour himself and Jake something to drink.

Jake’s eyes found Amy. She was sitting on the sofa next to Terry and Sharon, with Ava gazing up at her in amazement and awe. Jake couldn’t say he blamed Ava. Amy really was beautiful. Amazing. Perfect. He traced his eyes over her face, trying to repaint every perfect detail in his mind, until she turned slightly and their eyes met. Amy tilted her head at him, and Jake offered her a sheepish smile, making his way over her to press a kiss to her forehead before joining in with the conversation.

Jake’s hand never really left Amy’s stomach all night after that. They laughed with their friends and discussed Amy’s pregnancy (as usual) and Charle’s asked a lot of inappropriate questions that Jake tried to shrug off, remembering that Charles wasn’t actually obsessed with his wife and was instead obsessed with their relationship. And despite all the craziness, they had fun. Kevin had cooked a beautiful dinner with a few added extras from Boyle, which everyone wholeheartedly avoided as far as possible.

At the end of the night, everyone exchanged gifts, but no one opened theirs, deciding instead to take them home and place them under their trees for Christmas morning. Jake and Amy handed out their presents to all of the kids, something that they did every year, and left the earliest out of everyone because Amy was getting tired. Her back and pelvis were sore pretty much all the time now, and from time-to-time she’d get mild false contractions, especially in the evening. 

Jake drove home as slowly as steadily as he could in the snow, very mindful that he had his seven-and-a-half-months pregnant wife in the seat next to him. Amy turned on the radio and belted out Christmas songs as the top of her lungs, and she was awful singer but it made Jake smile anyway. 

They placed their presents carefully under the tree, and waited on the couch until midnight, like they did every year. And then Jake rushed to the bedroom to get Amy’s gift, and Amy waited till he was gone and reached under the couch to retrieve his. She kept it there every year, and she didn’t want him to know that it was her hiding spot. 

When Jake entered the room again, he had his hands behind his back and a nervous look on his face. “Do you want to go first?” He asked shyly. 

Amy shook her head. “Pregnant ladies get their gift first,” she giggled. “Those are the rules. I just made them.” 

Jake laughed and sat down on the couch beside her, kissing her with his hands still behind his back. And then he whipped out a small book. No, a binder. 

He handed it to Amy and she began to flip through it. “I’m sorry if it’s not perfect. I’ve never made one before.” 

Amy’s eyes filled with tears. On her lap, sat a small binder-come-scrapbook, filled with pictures of her and Jake, from work, from their wedding. And then, near the back, there were lots of pictures of her baby-bump, with every single scan picture they’d ever gotten glued in beside them and the months they were taken in marked down on the paper in Jake’s neatest handwriting. 

“Oh.” She said simply, her breath faltering. It meant so much to her that Jake would put all this effort in, that he would make a binder and spend some time scrapbooking just for her, because he knew she loved it. 

“You don’t like it,” he said sadly, his face dropping. 

“No, no!” Amy said quickly, her head snapping up to look at him. “I love it, Jake! I can’t believe you did this.” She sniffed, wiping her tears away with the sleeve of her dress. 

A small grin found its way to Jake’s face. “Oh, good,” he said. “Because, like, I didn’t have a backup gift. Sorry.”

Amy laughed and hit him lightly on the arm, making Jake chuckle. “My gift is going to look so awful now.” 

Jake shook his head, raising an eyebrow at her. “I’ll be the judge of that,” he said jokingly. 

Amy handed him a small, square box, and Jake untied the neat ribbon and opened it. Inside, there was a small onesie that had the NYPD logo written on it, with a little fake name-tag that read ‘Officer Santiago-Peralta’ in tiny, white lettering. Jake grinned, pulling it out of the box and holding it up. 

“It’s so tiny,” he whispered, amazing at how small the little arms and legs were.

“Do you like it?” Amy asked with a smile. 

“I love it!” He exclaimed, setting it down and pulling Amy in for a tight hug. 

Jake hated Christmas as a kid. In fact, when he was a little boy, he used to save up money and buy himself a gift for the holidays, because his mom was always working too many jobs to have time for him and his dad was never around. But, when he met Amy, she seemed to make Christmas special again, to make him love it. And as he buried his head in her neck and inhaled the scent of her soft hair, Jake thought that maybe this was the best Christmas yet, and they were only twenty-minutes into it.


	15. The Mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> Sorry I haven’t updated in a few days! It was my 18th birthday this week so I’ve been celebrating that, but unfortunately I now have freshers flu from being back at uni so I’m pretty much bed bound. 
> 
> That being said, I’ve been able to finish this chapter for you guys! 
> 
> Next chapter is likely to be the last, but I do have plans for a sequel to this story! I really hope those of you who have been following this fanfic closely will have a read at it, but of course don’t feel obliged to and I really appreciate you taking the time to read anything of mine anyway! 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading. Enjoy the chapter! :)

The next month of Amy’s pregnancy passed uneventfully. She remained on desk duty until she turned eight-months-pregnant, then decided to go on early maternity leave so she could begin nesting and rest her sore back. She felt guilty for leaving her squad and it was out-of-character for her to take time off work, but she knew it was what was best for her and the baby. Jake decided he would wait until after the baby was born to go back out into the field, so he remained on desk duty, while Amy stayed at home and occasionally went shopping for things for the baby. 

As time went on, Amy got more and more nervous about the prospect of becoming a mother. At 39 years old, you would think that maybe she was ready, but something told her she wasn’t. She wasn’t as spirited and spritely as she used to be, and she worried that maybe she wouldn’t have enough to energy to look after a baby, or worse, a toddler. 

But she felt excitement too. And she still had lots of time to prepare, a whole month to finish all of her baby and childcare books, so she’d be fine. She’d make binders to consult when she was unsure and she’d make sure Jake knew everything, too. 

Jake was beginning to feel happier and happier, letting thoughts of his past slip further and further away from him. He knew now that he had tried his best, he did what he could and, in a way, that was enough for him. He just had to love his daughter, had to be a good father and make the right decisions for her. He had to be there, always, no matter the circumstance. And he would. He would do everything that he could for his little girl. 

======

Around two weeks into her maternity leave, Amy began to get bored. She had made binders on the entirety of the babies first year of life, had bought all the supplies they could ever need and had practiced how to swaddle a baby a-hundred-and-one times. She finally felt relaxed, like she knew what she was doing, but now there was nothing left to learn. 

When Jake climbed out of bed at 7AM that morning, Amy followed suit. “I’m coming to work with you,” she chirped, stretching out her back, which felt sorer than usual. She shook that off though, sure that the small spasm she felt was just from lack of exercise throughout the night. 

“Don’t you think you should rest up?” Jake asked. “I mean-“ 

“I’m coming with you,” she said firmly. “If I spend one more day in this house I am going to explode.” 

Jake looked pointedly at her belly, about to make a comment about how she looked as though she might explode anyway, then stopped himself. He knew better. “Okay,” he agreed with a yawn.

======

When Jake and Amy stepped out of the elevator onto the fourth floor, Charles gasped audibly and rushed over the Amy’s side. 

“Amy! What are you doing here?” He asked, grabbing onto her side and gently pulling her over to a chair in panic. “A woman as pregnant as you should be at home, resting.” 

Jake’s eyes widened at Charles from behind Amy, warning him, but it was too late. He sighed as he saw Amy clenching her jaw and pursing her lips. 

“Boyle,” she said, so calmly it was scary, removing his hand from her arm. Charles looked more afraid than Jake had ever seen him before. “Maybe you should mind your own business and consider that you are a man. You’ll never be pregnant. So what I choose to do while pregnant isn’t your choice. Capiche?” 

Rosa snorted from her desk. “Yeah, Boyle. Shut up.” 

Charles swallowed nervously and looked over at Jake, looking like he might be about to say something else. Jake shook his head furiously, hoping that Charles would listen, and he did, mumbling an apology to Amy and backing away to sit at his desk. 

Amy took a seat next to Jake’s desk and smiled fondly at him as he got to work on his paperwork. She was proud of him, of how well he had adjusted to being chained to a desk everyday rather than out there, fighting crime in the streets like he’d always said was his favourite thing to do. She knew that it was hard for him, but she also knew that he would do what was best for their little family, and him taking some time to recover was the greatest thing he could do. 

Amy slid her glasses on. Her contact lenses felt unusually dry and uncomfortable at this stage in her pregnancy, so she had began wearing her glasses, which Jake loved. He always told her she looked so smart and sexy with them on. Even when she was pregnant. It made her feel a lot better about basically being an above average whale. 

She started by making a checklist of all the things that they needed for baby, and she managed to tick off every single thing, which just further confirmed how organised she was. She felt proud of herself, and moved onto filled out a crossword as a reward for all her hard work on preparing their house for a newborn. 

======

Around an hour had passed since work had began, and Jake had watched Amy fill out around five crosswords while filling out his paperwork. It made him smile. She was so brainy, Jake loved her so much for it. He had only managed to get halfway through his second round of paperwork by the time she’d already completed five crossword puzzles. She was absolutely amazing. 

Jake had just dived back into his write-up of a burglary crime Charles had solved a few days prior when he heard a tiny squeak from Amy. His head shot up to see her eyes were wide and her hand was clutching the side of his desk so hard her knuckles had turned white. 

“Ames!” Jake whisper-shouted, shooting immediately into an upright position. “Are you okay?” 

“Uh-huh,” she nodded quickly. “Um, I need to go to the bathroom.” 

Amy tried to stand up but Jake grabbed her hand, stopping her. He had a bad feeling about this. “Ames, tell me what’s wrong,” he demanded softly. She probably had back pain or maybe she’d wet herself again (a few nights before the baby had kicked her in the bladder and she’d peed the bed. She’d been so embarrassed but Jake popped her in a warm bath and then cleaned everything up, telling her it was okay and that he didn’t mind). 

“I-I’m fine,” Amy stuttered unconvincingly, shrugging her shoulders and trying so obviously to play it cool. Jake raised his eyebrows at her questioningly and she sighed. “Fine. I think I might have just, you know, had a contraction.” 

“A what?” Jake asked confusedly, before a wave of understanding swept over him. “Oh,” he said calmly, before the news actually sunk in. “Oh! You mean, like a contraction-contraction?”

“What else would I mean?” Amy hissed, sounding frustrated. Her face softened. “I mean, yes. An actual contraction. I think I might be in labour.” 

“Say what!?” Jake exclaimed. Amy glared at him and he cleared his throat. “Sorry.” He paused. “We should get you to the hospital, to make sure everything’s okay, right?”

Amy nodded, looking unsure as she clutched Jake’s arm and breathed heavily. “I told myself I wouldn’t go straight to the hospital but they’re, like, really painful Jake. Ouch.” She groaned quietly as another contraction racked her body, and Jake felt like he might cry and excitedly scream all at the same time. 

“Okay,” Jake said, nodding and puffing his chest out. “I’ll go talk to Holt.” 

Jake rose from his seat, and only now did he notice that his friends weren’t in their seats. Boyle, Diaz and Jeffords were all missing. He looked around, confused, until he focused in on them all standing around Holt’s desk in the Captain’s office. Jake marched over, unsure why they were all in there but feeling determined to get his wife to the hospital. 

He threw the door open and stepped inside. “Captain, Amy’s in labour. We need to get her to the hospital and-“ 

Boyle interjected, looking concerned. “Jake-y...” he trailed off. 

“That may not be possible,” Holt finished the sentence for Boyle. 

“What?” Jake asked, beginning to feel a little irritated. Surely Holt couldn’t keep him and Amy in work while she was literally giving birth? “Why not?” 

“There’s been a bomb threat a few streets down. No one in or out, Jake. Commissioners orders.” Terry said worriedly, looking like he thought Jake might explode at him. 

“What!?” Jake began to panic. “But... but can’t Amy and I leave when you guys go to help? You are going to help right?” 

Diaz shook her head. “Madeleine Wuntch is the acting commissioner.” 

“So?” Jake snapped, becoming more and more frustrated by the second.

“The old witch won’t let us near.” Holt said. “I’m sorry, Peralta.” 

Jake flopped down onto the couch, his head falling into his hands as he let out an almighty sigh. “What am I supposed to do?” At least he had a good few hours. Maybe the bomb threat would be lifted by then. 

Just then, Jake held Amy’s panicked voice shouting his name. He shot out of his seat worriedly, following to sound of her voice with the team briskly walking behind him. 

Amy was still sat in the same place, but her wide eyes were focused on a wet spot on the floor in front of her. She looked up at Jake. “I think my water just broke.” 

“Oh my god!” Jake exclaimed, grabbing both sides of his head with his hands. He wasn’t sure he could handle this. What was he going to tell Amy? 

“This is moving way quicker than I expected. Oh my god, I forgot my hospital bag,” Amy paused thoughtfully, before groaning and shaking her head. “No time. We have to get to the hospital. Now!” 

Jake smiled shyly at Amy and walked towards her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Ames.” He turned to his friends. “Who wants to break it to her?” 

======

“I can’t believe this,” Amy panicked, pacing up and down Holt’s office in a pair of Jake’s spare tracksuit pants and one of Rosa’s shirts. “I cannot believe this. This can’t be happening.” She stopped and looked up at Jake. “We have to find a way to get to the hospital.” Amy began to pace again. 

“Ames, babe,” Jake began carefully, standing up front his position on the arm of the sofa. “I don’t think there’s anything we can do.” 

“Peralta is right,” Holt said calmly. “We just have to wait it out.” 

Amy felt rage coursing through her. She was about to give birth, in a dirty precinct, with no pain relief and no doctor. “Excuse me!?” She roared, turning to face Holt. “We!? You’re not the one about to squeeze a freaking watermelon-sized-baby out of her lady-parts all on her own! Are you!?” 

Holt blinked, looking surprised. “Santiago, I...” 

Amy felt her face growing red as she realised how she had just spoken to her superior officer. She had gotten carried away and disrespected her Captain. “Sir,” she squeaked embarrassed. “Oh my gosh, I am so sorry, sir.”

Captain Holt opened his mouth to reply but Amy whined loudly as another contraction hit. This one felt different. She cried out. The pain was different, more urgent, and it they were definitely happening closer together. 

“Amy,” Boyle’s voice said as he caught her to stop her from following, and she felt Terry’s hands helping hold her up too. 

“Ow,” she mumbled, her eyes squeezed shut. “Ow, Jake. This is different. It’s happening. Ow.” 

Amy felt herself being lowered to the floor as the worst part of the contraction began to die down. When it was finally over, she opened her eyes as Jake propped a pillow behind her head and pressed a kiss to her sweaty forehead.

“Look, we can’t wait anymore. We have to think of a plan.” Jake said to the room firmly. “Does anyone know how to deliver a baby?” 

“Jake!” Amy exclaimed, on the verge of tears. “No one here knows how to deliver a baby! No one here is a doctor! No one-“ 

“Hang on,” Jake said thoughtfully, raising a finger to stop Amy from talking. He looked pointedly at Rosa. “Rosa, you did three years of medical school.” 

Amy shrunk backwards in surprise. She supposed with everything going on around her she’d forgotten about that. 

Rosa’s eyes widened, her emotions betraying her. “What?” She muttered. “Yes. I-I did, yes. But that doesn’t mean I know how to safely deliver a baby, Jake.” 

Jake shook his head. “I refuse to believe that by third year you hadn’t at least seen a baby being delivered.” 

Rosa crossed her arms over her chest. “Yeah. But. I don’t know about this, Jake.”

“Please,” Amy cut in quickly, sounding desperate. She knew she sounded desperate, but she just didn’t care. It might have been the hormones, but she was crying now, and she was sure she could feel another contraction coming on. “Please help me, Rosa. I want - no, I need my baby to be safe. Please. I don’t know what I’m doing.” 

Rosa stared at her for a second before sighing. “You know I hate seeing you upset,” she grumbled. “Fine. I’ll do it. But I need some towels, some damp and some dry, a few blankets and some gloves.”


	16. The Birth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! 
> 
> This is the final chapter of this fic! I’m really sad for it to be ending, but as I’ve posted the last chapter of A New Adventure, I’ve also posted the first chapter to the sequel, The Next Adventure! I’d be really grateful if you guys could give it a read! 
> 
> This chapter is inspired by @allmylovesatonce and their story What to Expect! I read the fic when I first started on AO3 and absolutely loved it, and unintentionally I’ve retained some of the ideas and used them here! Please check it out (although I’m sure you have already because it’s amazing!). 
> 
> Hopefully you enjoy the final chapter!

It had been two hours, and Amy found herself on the floor, a towel under her and her pants off, a blanket covering her lower half. She was propped against Holt’s sofa, with Jake sat on the sofa behind her, his hands ruffling her hair gently. 

Rosa was in the bathroom, cleaning her hands again, because she wasn’t really able to be sterile in this environment so she was just trying her best. Holt and Terry were both on their own phones, trying desperately to contact someone who may make it possible for them to take Amy to the hospital. Charles was talking to paramedics over the phone for birth advice while he whizzed through paperwork, trying to do five peoples work instead of one.

Amy groaned as another contraction hit. They were coming between three and five minutes apart now, and Rosa said it was almost time that she pushed. The contractions were way more painful now, and Amy hadn’t been given any pain relief at all, which definitely wasn’t part of the plan. But then again, none of this was part of the plan. 

“I’m not ready, Jake,” Amy whined, tipping her head backwards into his lap so she could look up at him. She was in so much pain, this was happening in completely the wrong place, and she wasn’t due for another two weeks. She wasn’t prepared for this. 

“I know it’s not ideal babe, but-“ Jake began, his hands still running lightly through her hair. 

“No,” Amy shook her head. “It’s not about this, about it being here. I mean, this sucks too, but... I’m not mentally prepared.” She hung her head. “I’m going to be an awful mother.” 

Jake felt his face soften. “Ames,” he said quietly. “You don’t really think that, right? Because you’re going to be the best mom ever.” 

“Do you really think so?” Amy asked, her eyes filling with tears.

“I do.” Jake nodded his head. “There are so many things about you that are going to make you the greatest mom in the world. I can go through all of them if you want. It might, you know, take a while.” He smiled. 

Amy laughed thickly, shaking her head. “No it’s oka-“ she began, but was cut off with another contraction hitting her body. She let out a loud cry. It was urgent, and her pelvis felt like there was a huge amount of pressure pressing down on it. 

“Just breathe, Ames,” Jake said, using a damp towel to wipe her warm forehead. 

Amy shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut. “I have to push, Jake,” she whined, desperate for Rosa to come and tell her what to do.

Amy heard Jake yell Rosa’s name, and then she heard the door to the office open and close, but she didn’t open her eyes once, not until the contraction was over. 

Rosa was kneeling in front of her. She peeled the towel off of Amy’s lap, and Amy felt momentarily embarrassed like she had every time her friend had done this so far. But she knew Rosa didn’t care, and Amy trusted her.

“Okay, Santiago,” Rosa said, still using Amy’s surname instead of her first name, which Amy thought was sort of weird considering Rosa was literally delivering her baby. “The next time you have a contraction, I want you to push.” 

Amy shook her head, tears falling down her cheeks. “I can’t do this,” she whispered.

Rosa nodded. “Yes you can. You’re a badass, Amy. You can do this.” She offered Amy a small smile, something Amy didn’t really see very often.

“What if something goes wrong?” Amy sobbed. “What if I can’t do it?” 

Rosa shook her head. “I know what I’m doing, Santiago. Besides, Boyle updated me with some extra information from his chat with the paramedics.” She paused to roll her eyes at the mention of Charles. “Everything’s going to be fine.” 

Amy glanced back at Jake for reassurance, and he was smiling at her gently, looking hopeful and scared and excited all at once. Amy was sure she must look the same. She swallowed thickly and turned back to Rosa, nodding. 

“That’s my girl,” Jake whispered in her ear, placing a kiss to the back of her sweaty neck. 

Amy felt the familiar pressure in her pelvis of an approaching contraction and widened her eyes. “It’s coming,” she said tightly, bracing herself.

“Okay, Santiago. It’s time. Push!” 

======

Jake thought this baby must already be like Amy, hard-working and time-conscious, because he’d never heard of a baby being delivered so quickly before.

Twenty-five minutes after Amy first started pushing, she collapsed backwards as Rosa cradled a tiny, screaming baby in her arms. Jake was completely in awe of his wife, sure, but in that moment, everything else faded away, and all he could see was his daughter. All he could see was her little bare body, all he could hear was her wailing. He didn’t even care that she was covered in blood and other matter. All he could focus on was how beautiful she was.

“She’s great, guys,” Rosa said, her voice wobbling with emotion. She reached out and covered Amy’s lower-half with a towel, before leaning forward and placing the baby in Amy’s shaking arms. “Congratulations.” 

Amy stared down at her daughter, tears streaming down her face as she met her baby for the first time. She was so tiny, so perfect, Amy couldn’t believe it. She zoned out, as if the world revolved around this little girl in her arms, and then she felt Jake’s hand on her shoulder, and she ripped her gaze away from her daughter to look at Jake. 

“She’s so perfect, Ames,” Jake sniffled as he moved to sit on the floor next to his wife. 

“She’s cute, right?” Amy said happily, sounding exhausted. She yawned, holding her baby out slightly. “Would you like to hold her?”

“Oh my God,” Jake said quietly. “Yes.” 

He reached out and took the tiny girl from his wife, holding her so softly in his arms, as if he was afraid he would crush her with even the lightest of pressure. He cradled her there, his shirt smeared with blood, and looked down at her. 

Amy smiled as she watched them together, and reached out with her hand. The baby reached out too, and wrapped her tiny hand around Amy’s finger, which made Amy feel like she might cry all over again. 

Jake leaned into Amy and kissed her gently on the lips, trying to convey how proud he was of her, how amazed he was by her power and her ability to bring a being so perfect into this world.

Suddenly, the door burst open, revealing an excited looking Charles. “Guys, guess what!? The paramedics are on their wa-“ 

Rosa glared at him from her position in the corner of the room. 

“Oh my-“ Charles began. “Is that-“ he pointed at the baby, eyes widening. “Oh my God,” he finally said, before his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell to the ground. 

Amy and Jake looked at each other and giggled as quietly as they could.

Rosa stood up from the floor, rolling her eyes and walking towards Charles. “Looks like I’m Doctor Diaz for today.”

======

Amy was whisked off in ambulance, along with the baby, and Jake was left to follow in his car behind since there wasn’t really an emergency. He thought he was okay with this, but then the doors closed behind his wife and daughter and he was separated from them and it just felt wrong. It was like a sort of primal, paternal instinct had kicked in already, and he just couldn’t be away from her.

He asked Charles to drive him to the hospital. Jake hasn’t really realised just how exhausted he was, but he knew it wasn’t safe to drive, and the rest of the Nine-Nine were coming along to see the baby anyway, so Charles drove while Jake sat in the passenger seat, and Holt, Rosa and Terry squeezed into the backseat (much to Rosa’s dismay). 

When they got to the hospital, Jake took the stairs two at a time up to the building, and felt relieved when he found out Amy and the baby were on the first floor. He left his friends waiting in the waiting room, and tapped tentatively on Amy’s door. 

A nurse pushed it open with her foot, then smiled brightly when she saw Jake. “You must be daddy. Come in. I was just finishing up in here.”

Jake nodded and smiled at her in return, and when he stepped into the room, he saw possibly the most magical thing he would ever see in his entire life. 

Amy was propped up in bed, her hair tied back in a loose ponytail and a shy smile on her face as she looked up at Jake. She was wrapped in comfortable, white bedsheets, and their baby was asleep in her arms, dressed in a tiny pink baby-suit and matching hat. 

Jake felt his eyes fill with tears. 

“Hi,” Amy said quietly, carefully reaching one arm out towards Jake while still expertly cradling the baby. Jake couldn’t help but think she was a natural already, but of course she was. She was Amy Santiago. 

“Hey,” Jake whispered back, walking towards Amy and giving her hand a quick squeeze. He made to sit in uncomfortable chair beside the bed, but Amy grabbed his arm to stop him and shook her head.

“Come sit here.” She patted the tiny space next to her on the bed.

Jake grinned at his wife and carefully climbed onto the bed beside her, wrapped an arm around her. Amy snuggled into his side, careful not to wake their sleeping daughter. 

“How you holding up?” Jake asked, using a finger to trace the little purple dinosaur on the front of his babies pyjamas. This was an outfit he’d picked out. 

Amy yawned loudly, leaning into Jake further. “Sleepy,” she mumbled.

Jake smiled gently and placed a kiss to her forehead. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

Amy nodded against him and her eyes flickered shut. Jake used the arm he had wrapped around her to gently trace up and down her tee-shirt covered back until she drifted off to sleep.

======

Amy was woken up about an hour later by crying noises. She shot upright in bed, searching desperately for her little girl, and was relieved when she saw a flustered looking Jake at the other side of the room, bouncing his daughter in a feeble attempt to get her to sleep.

“Jake?” Amy asked carefully, feeling a smile stretch her face.

“Ames?” Jake looked over. He looked more worried and stressed than she’d ever seen him before. “Dammit. She woke you up. I’m sorry, Ames.” He sighed, looking down at the baby. “I can’t get her to sleep. I don’t think I’m very good at this whole dad thing. I changed her diaper, I even sung to her, I-“

Amy laughed. “Babe, she needs to eat.” She knew babies needed to eat frequently, and it was probably something Jake hadn’t tried yet as Amy had chosen to breastfeed and hadn’t pumped any milk yet. 

A look of realisation crossed Jake’s face. “Oh!” He said, rushing the baby over to Amy. “Uh, makes sense.” 

Amy laughed, lifting her tee-shirt over her head and taking the baby from Jake.

======

After Amy had successfully breastfed and had been given another checkup by the hospital nurses, they decided to allow visitors. They started with their parents, who they thought would, by this point, be desperate to meet their granddaughter. 

Karen cried. A lot. Jake was a little embarrassed actually, because Amy’s parents held the tiny baby with nothing more than a smile and congratulations (they were used to new babies in the family). Jake did allow his father to hold the baby, but he was last and after about two minutes Jake took his daughter back, using the excuse that she was probably tired.

It was only when Victor asked if they had a name that Jake and Amy realised they’d forgotten something. 

They looked at each other with wide eyes. 

“Uh, no. No, not yet,” Amy said, shrugging and failing to sound as casual as she clearly wanted to. She hated being unorganised, and not having a name for your baby when she’d been in the world for over 3 hours seemed pretty unorganised to her. 

After all their parents left the room, Amy and Jake placed the sleeping baby in the hospital bassinet and resolved to choose a name before the Nine Nine visited.

======

The hospital usually didn’t allow more than four visitors at a time, but when they heard the story of how all of the Nine Nine team had come together to help in the safe delivery of Jake and Amy’s baby, they gave in and allowed them all the visit at once. Gina snuck in alongside them.

“Hey guys,” Jake said quietly, walking slowly towards his friends with his newly-named daughter in his arms. Amy watched him from the bed, still tucked under the white sheets. 

Charles gasped. “Oh my God, look at her,” he squealed, careful not to wake her, which Jake and Amy appreciated.

Jake laughed quietly. “Do you want to hold her, buddy?” He paused. “You are her Uncle Charles, after all.”

Charles’ eyes widened and he jumped up and down on the spot excitedly. Amy thought it was sweet that he was so excited about this, but then again he was always excited when it came to Jake and her.

Charles sat down in the chair next to Amy and Jake handed him the small baby carefully. “She’s so perfect, guys,” he whispered, before looking up at Jake. 

The rest of the team gathered round and cooed at the baby. Gina made a comment about how she was glad the baby had inherited Amy’s button nose, and Terry said she was much smaller than any of his girls were when they were born. 

“What’s her name?” Terry asked eventually, and everyone looked at Amy and Jake expectedly. 

Amy glanced at Jake, and Jake nodded at her in encouragement. She smiled, looking at the team, but especially Rosa. 

“Her name is Rosie,” she said gently, brushing a hand over her baby’s face. “After her Aunt Rosa.”

Everyone turned to look at Rosa, who swallowed thickly. She looked up at the ceiling, clearly trying to stop herself from crying. “If any of you tell anyone outside of this room that I cried, I’ll kill you all,” she forced out hoarsely, wiping at her eyes before hugging Jake then Amy. “Thanks, guys.”

“No, Rosa. Thank you. I don’t know what we would’ve done if it wasn’t for your help.” Jake nodded. He cleared his throat and looked over at Holt. “Her full name is Rosie Rae Santiago-Peralta.” 

Holt looked shocked, then a tiny smile crept onto his face, something neither Amy nor Jake had dared to expect. 

“We wanted her to have her grandpas name,” Amy said quietly, smiling as Charles handed Rosie over to Holt.

He took her gently, as if he was afraid he might break her, and looked down at her in shock. Jake sat on the bed beside Amy and they glanced at each other, sharing a small smile before they looked back at their Captain holding their tiny daughter in his arms. 

======

Later, as Amy slept soundly in the hospital bed, Jake sat on the chair in the corner of the room, his feet propped up on the coffee table and baby Rosie in his arms. She was finally quiet, not sleeping but just laying their, her pacifier in her mouth. Her big eyes gazed up at him, still blue at such a young age, but Jake swore he could see flecks of his own eye colour in hers. Her little button nose wrinkled every few seconds as her rosebud lips that looked so much like Amy’s suckled on her purple pacifier. She had a full head of thick, dark hair already, and Jake brushed a hand gently over it, feeling how soft it was.

“Hi, little Rosie,” he whispered into the darkness, using one finger to touch her tiny, chubby cheek. “I’m your daddy.”

Rosie made a tiny noise that made Jake’s heart feel like it was about to explode. He couldn’t believe he’d been worried about this, worried about whether he would connect with her, whether he would be a good father or run away from all of the responsibilities. He knew now he was nothing like his father. He loved this little girl with every ounce of him. 

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Jake breathed, careful not to wake Amy. “I’ve been through some tough stuff while you were in mamas belly.” 

He thought back to the school, back to the little girl he’d failed to save. And part of him still hated himself for it, knew he shouldn’t have left her, knew he should’ve been responsible. But then another part of him was able to accept it, was able to understand that what had happened wasn’t his fault, that he had done what he thought was right at the time.

“I’ll never let anything happen to you, Rosie. I promise. Even when you’re a big girl, your daddy is always going to take care of you.” He sighed happily. Rosie pushed out a tiny yawn, stretching her hands above her head. “You’re sleepy, huh?” 

Jake stood up, carefully walking over to the crib and placing her inside with a soft kiss on her forehead. She crinkled herself up, and Jake couldn’t help but quietly laugh, because Amy always slept curled up in a tiny little ball. 

He heard Amy get up behind him and creep over to him, then felt her hands on his back. 

“She’s amazing, Ames,” Jake breathed, taking one last look at Rosie before he turned round and wrapped his arms round Amy’s waist, careful not to hurt her tender stomach. “You’re amazing.”

Amy blushed, wrapping her arms around her husbands neck. “She’s half you, too, you know.” 

“But you cooked her,” Jake smiled.

Amy laughed. “Yeah, I did.” She looked down at her stomach, pouting. “It feels weird not having her in there anymore.” 

Jake nodded. “I know. But she’s here now. With us.” 

Amy leaned into Jake, a happy sigh escaping her. “I’m so glad she is. I can’t believe it.” 

“Neither can I,” Jake said, using one hand to tilt Amy’s face up towards his. He kissed her gently, passionately. “I love you so much, Ames.” 

“I love you, too.” She grinned. 

“We did it.” 

“Yeah, we did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that’s it! 
> 
> I wasn’t sure what I wanted to name Jake and Amy’s baby, but after I decided that Rosa would deliver her, I decided on either Rosie or Rose. I thought Rosie went much better with her middle name, Rae, so I went with Rosie! 
> 
> I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and the rest of this fic! If you did, and if you have the time, please check out the sequel! The first chapter is live now! 
> 
> <3333333


End file.
